A New Blog, A New Life

I have moved.
The story of the caffeine addict continues @ www.cuppa.blogspot.com .

ShawnTay - tehokosong.blogspot.com have became history. *Smilez*

I cried, cause I'm happy for you

I promise myself,
And probably u,
Is a last entry about you.

A big blow to end this tiring day.
A sense of relaxation with an aching heart.
I did burst out when on phone with butt,
But deep inside my heart,
I'm sincerely happy for you.

I dunno myself either,
Why am I so madly in love with you.
Still remembering the first time I saw you...
At Block 34, wearing AMKSS uniform during NP openhouse,
The princessly image became an affection,
An affection that is haunting me thru my poly life and NS life.
Not forgetting those fond memories we once had...

But as what u said,
Is past tense. Is ending. Or rather ended. I know that.
I felt the difference too after reading some of my previous entries.
I'm ending on my side too, thou is two years late.
But at least, Butt and Jun felt the differences too.

So, actually part of me have expected today to come.
I have had myself mentally prepared,
But just that. Just that.
My response was different from what I thought.
I'm not strong afterall.

I plead for a few more weeks. Or months.
For me to discover the real one in uni,
So that I can forget you thoroughly.
Part of man's pride i suppose.
On contrary,

I guess I will never find the one with the presence of you.
*Laughs*

This two years,
I led a very contradicting life.
Eagerly looking forward to all the poly outings,
So I can see you again.
But usually it ended with you not coming,
Or the fact that I'm thinking of you as the outing ended.

I felt like a pester at times too,
Invading your life,
And disturbing you for loving you so.
I felt like a bastard. Definitely a loser.

I guess u know it too...
Thru some of the blog entries I wrote,
Which expected some responses from u,
But you choose not to make any.
I thank you for not making any responses,
And not giving me any false hopes in any ways.

Or maybe u dunno that,
I wrote this blog mainly for you.
A psychological way of updating u bout my life thou,
And how you are not forgotten.
Some entries that I have written,
But chose not to publish them,
Coz I thought is not the wrong thing to do.
Hence, they are stored in my pvt entries.

Finally, I'm putting down a five years old stone from heart.
Love, like a river,

Will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle.
I guess my river has dried up.
I'm looking for my own angel to fill the river with the water again.

I wish you luck in your new relationship.
You don't have a easy time in love too.
At last, you found him. =)
Love, an emotion so strong that you would give up everything.
To just feel it once, to know that you are part of something special.
To know that you can feel what love really is; to know, to feel, to love.
I congrats u for having that.
Wholeheartedly from my heart.

To you, Catherine (BaoLian).

ShawnTay - With all the love I had for you, I make them into blessings for u and him. Love is knowing you are the bud from which his happiness blossoms.

Weekend Update

Friday:

Had a coffee session with the burgies at JP before catching a flick, Banquet. I think that the movie was overrated. It seems that the director wanted to bring out the story in a very beautiful and artistic way but had overdone it. Some of the scenes are actually funny then artistic. But I liked the plot thou, is about two women who seeked different priorities in lives. One seeked power over love, while the other seeked love over anything else. It seems to indicate women in the society these days, and how men (the roles of the emperor and the crown prince in the flick) are manipulated by them. From my own point of view, I think that Zhou Xun presented her character in the show well enough, as she managed to bring out her affection and lust towards the prince, and her desire towards life before she died. Zhang Ziyi on the other hand, couldn't bring out the wild part of the empress, and her desire towards having the kingdom as her own. She did a good job at seducing the emperor thou. The pros and costumes in the show were good. (Rating: 7/10)

Saturday:

Dinner with the poly cliques at Butt's Dad's stall. The sambal chilli and the stingray were good. Sat on the lorry while going to ktv at chevrons. I like siting on lorries. Having the wind blowing towards the face makes one think. I thought about a few stuffs, and proud of myself for making certain moves. =)

Sunday:

Sunday is no fish day. =( Went to the fish farm at Punggol to fish for four hours with bro-in-law. Dad and Mum joined us thereafter. Luckily the sun was good and the environment was lovely, to accompany a NO - FISH me. Bro-in-law got a snapper thou.

Anyway, I bought a new pond fishing rod. Dad's green old rod for the open sea, which accompany him since his marriage life started (32 years and still counting on!), will be retiring with glory. So, I have to delcare bankrupt now for the $140 spent on the limited edition rod, the shimano Sienna 1000FB gear, as well as to refill some fishing accessories.

ShawnTay - I hope to have my virgin catch for this rod soon! =)

Let's Talk Bout Girls

Was looking through the old files in my computer to be deleted. And came upon a folder containing pictures (not porn la!) of some superstars that I like.

From HongKong:


佘诗曼


阿Sa



From Singapore:


李之仪



From Korea:

宋慧乔



From Taiwan:

林依晨



And I came to a conclusion that the girls I like / liked would have this few attributes. LoL.

1. Big or high cheekbones.
2. Bubbly, round faced.
3. Fair skinned.
4. Big eyes, somewhere in between fierce and innocent.
5. Sweet Looking and cheerful.
6. Usually act as bad tempered girls in dramas. (I wonder what about real life?! Haha)

ShawnTay - Im bored!

Drama Addict

Catching a new korean drama, Full House since this morning (1203am).
Since then, the DVD player ran for the next eight hours....
And I managed to finish 12 episodes of it within a day. *LoL*
AgrrrH,I'm so in love with the female and male lead now manz!
(Yeah, I got some bisexual traits in within.)
Rain is cool, but Song Hye-kyo is awesome! Haha!
And due to that, I skipped a two hours lecture in the morning.
Biochemistry and IT tutorials are dued today, but I haven't do yet.
And right inside the IT lecture now, I typing this blog.
To add on, the Full House DVDs are in my bag!
And there are two hours break later...
*Evil Grins*

Gosh... Someone, kill me!

ShawnTay - And now, I have super dark rings!

EQ

Your EQ is 133

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

ShawnTay - I guess my IQ will be different. Keke.

Happy.

Have some thoughts after yester's alumni,
Didn't sleep until four in the morn.
And came to a conclusion.

A sense of touch,
A touch of realisation.
And perhaps an old tired smile.

At least Butt is happy,
With her new love life.

At least HongKiat is happy,
As what he said so in his blog.

At least Darren is happy,
Though he didn't dare to give it all out.

At least KG is happy,
He loves Taiwan.

At least most of my friends are happy.
They influenced me somehow,
And I'm definitely happy for them.

And I came to my own conclusion.
A blog typed, but didn't published.
Saved as draft, and shall be one of my pvt entries.

Anyway the field trip at Labordor Park today was refleshing.
Energetic thou only slept for two hours.
Shall look forward to more field trips.



It begins with a lazy morning.



And the marine biology students start their jobs...



New star-like-stuffs discovered. Only this few on the whole coast.



The big green bubbles. Sea Grapes.



Some dead ones. Sad.



Algae growing on woods. Haiz. Human impacts!



Let's see what he saw....



Marine biologists-to-be at work.



New friends met.



OG senior and her juniors taking the same module.



It end with a Black Retriver.



And his master.


ShawnTay - At least, it isn't as taxing as years b4 anymore.

Is A FridaY!!!

A long pract today.
Never like biochemistry expts.
It was boring.
Half dead after pract.
*Dead n Flat*

Planned to go for a haircut,
And maybe swim with Jun after pract.
In the end, the pract ended late.
So, after lunch and a nice chat session with some new pract mates,
Its already four in the afternoon.
And I went home instead. *LoL*
ShiT man, I missed seeing the burgies la!

Tomorrow will be a fruitful but busy saturday.
Field trip to Larbador Park 6am in the morning (!),
With some new found lecture mates,
From Natural Heritage of Singapore.
Yeah, environmentalists at work in the morning! -_-"
Main aim is to study the whatever shit found at the beach at low tide.
Haha. So that's why, 6 in the morn...
And then it will be the alumini dinner thingy,
And I'm looking forward to that.
It's another pink party! *LoL*

ShawnTay - Going out now, coz is fri nite!!!

Time Management

It seems like...
Time got something against me.

Was telling butt this morning,
That "I got a hard time chasing time".
And now I choose to believe the fact that,
I'm a full time slacker.

Today was a good example.

I got a hard time waking up due to yester's TV.
And hence, I was half an hour late for the 10am lecture .
Due to that, I gotta sit on the floor,
As the lecture caters for the module was too small.

And as I happily went to submit my student exchange application,
I found out that I was two days late.
The deadline was 4th Sept!!! Dub.
Luckily, they still accepted it unwillingly.

After a four hours lecture straight, 3.5 hours in my case,
My uni pals and I decided to eat the the Biz canteen,
And thus, we were late for the IT tutorial. Sigh.
And left us with no computers at all, and gotta used the TA's notebook.

And the day ended with me buying zero textbooks from the CO-OP.
The organic Chemistry Textbook which was sold out since the 1st week,
Was still unavailable due to a delay in the shipment.
I guess I gonna flunk that, coz the lecturer dun give notes!
And the Natural Heritage of Singapore Textbook,
Was unavailable too, thou it just arrived mid last week!!!

I should have grabbed them on the first minute.

AgrrrH.

Sidenote:
I was the first few on the queue for the underwaterworld and dolphin lagoon free ticket thou! Haha, the only good stuff for taking up the Natural Heritage of Singapore module.

ShawnTay - And now, the IT assignment due tomo, chem report due on fri. As usual, it's lastr minute work again. Haiz. I should change.

Growing Up

A picture taken on KG's birthday not too long ago. Though not all are present, this picture is still one of the fullest photo we had taken so far this year of the 1F08 poly gang that still remained in contacts after graduation. I wonder how long will we get to take another picture like this again....?! PauL had left for Canada last Sunday, and Ah Guan smsed me about his departure from Singapore to Taiwan this morning. HK is also leaving for Australia in a few months time, while Kris and Irene only appeared once every ~~~ 800 years?!?! Haiz. That's part of growing up I guess.

A picture taken with Bro KG last year Christmas. I'm looking forward in meeting him in Taiwan with butt, HK and Tingz this coming December. Enjoy urself there dude!

I sort of think it through thoroughly. Since I can't change my fate, I try to improve it... I will be submitting the application for a student exchange to either the UK or Canada during Semester 2.1, with University of Edinburgh as my first choice tomorrow. The US ones are seriously too over budget. And hence now, I'm going to save and earn as much money as possible.

Side note:
Congrats on your 6th?!
I really think is different this time round.
Wish you luck.
Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes.
Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears.
What is it else?
A madness most discreet,
A choking gall and a preserving sweet.
Whoooosh.
Awfully sweet.

ShawnTay - And so, I shall continue to dream.

Back From e Airport

Finally, PoH is gone to Canada with a dream to fufill.
Seeing the crying faces of the dear ones at the airpot,
Always get me into this emotional state.
And hence after countless hours of non-sleep,
With an aid of a cuppa at 2am.
Another at 6, which is a charity from Kris.
I'm typing this irrational but true to my heart entry.

Dearest Kris hit me on the spot just now,
As we sat on the Burger King's seats talking with PoH.
He said Butt and I were the first with the overseas thoughts.
Yeah, but without actions at the end...
Indeed.

Since polytechnic years,
I was the one talking about dreams.
With the passion to study overseas, I set myself the goal.
The goal to study at Melbourne, or even further,
Get me aspired to complete my diploma.
But it seems like as the years dragged,
Without supportive parents anymore,
I decided to stay in my comfort zone,
And complete things within my own boundaries.

PoH is a strong guy,
Independent, determined;
Or even stubborn at times.
But at least the stubborn trait keeps him going,
And he is what he is today.
His first step towards his dreams.
As for me?
Yeah, indeed, NUS life sciences degree sounds cool,
But isn't an overseas experience,
A dream fufilled sounds much more cooler?

I was trying to find an alternative.
As I drove home along the expressway,
After dropping Butt home.
Staying in NUS for four years just isn't what I want.
And it just won't keep me happy.

I hope to get job real soon,
Save some money,
And maybe go for a semester exchange.
To either the States or Vancouver.
But somehow,
The business minor is stopping me,
Cause I prob can't squeeze the modules to other semS.

On the other hand,
Irrationally, illogically, or rather absurdly,
I really feel like quitting school.
NUS isn't that bad, I know.
But is simply not what I want.
I know the consequences I got to bear.
The disappointment of my folks,
Ugly comments of the relatives,
And perhaps,
A fuck up life for the rest of my life.

Or maybe I should try that scholarship Doris got it,
The one that Butt kept mentioning a year ago...

AgrrrH, life isn't that simple actually.

ShawnTay - Somehow, I'm determined.

Back to School

It's sweet to wake in an awesome morning like today and know you don't have to rush for a shower, stuff your shitload of stuffs - lecture notes, labcoat into a bag bursting with a 2.3kg laptop. And drag your feets to the bus stop and head for more brain damage activities taking place in school. Everyday, getting myself up outta the bed becomes an ordeal. It applies to Mum too - for waking me up. =) The thought of it alone releases instant feelings of fatigue... Zzzzz... AgggrhhH! But I guess, I have "acceptably" reverted myself back to a state of being a tertiary robot again after two years. Cause afterall, school was considered fun. I did regretted not staying in hall thou. But the guilt that's filling me right now, is that 10% test that is going to take place this coming tuesdaY. ANd yet, I haven't even touch a single page of my notes yet. Someone there, grab that knife and kill me pls~~~. Sending PoH in a few hours time... Never expected this day to come so fast...

A random pic...

ShawnTay - Just a normal ranting session.