Not So Simple

My "paranoidism" level went up to another level due to a phone call with Jun moments ago. I'm not blaming him. He's perhaps one of those guys who I can share joy and sorrows with. Not the one to discuss about pathways in life...

Is not as simple as what he said. "Wanted to go? Just go! U been talking about it for one year! Six months ago said wanted to go, six months later said don't want to go!"

Sounds like I'm making him irritated?! Oh jolly well he can minus away all those suggestions I gave him about NIE, physiotherapy and stuffs... I just need a piece of suggestion, not sarcasm.

I'm scared inside out. Is a major decision. Going overseas to study is what I've been dreaming on since a young kid, after my dream of being a doctor tarnished! And yet, I'm giving it up a for a new meaning of life...

Giving up a certificate to cells and pipette tips for a cafe... Is it worthwhile?

Shawn Tay - It's definetely not as simple as what he said...

Busy Week

A busy week.

Cookhouse and Store Overall In Charge for Cross Country Run.

Finally, is over.

Went town to meet up the usual group.

Watched Zathura.

Nice.

Chill out at BurgerKing.

Draw lots for Present Exchange on Christmas.

Funny session.

Love and yet hate Christmas.

Silent Night humming begins.

A day of emotions and thoughts foreseen.

Shawn Tay - Going Back Camp Again...

Pig is gone...

Agrhhh! I'm just stupid!
Decided to put a song onto my blog...
Turn out deleted everything on e template accidentally.
LoL... Decided to live with this first la... Haha

Shawn Tay - Stay tune for e new design...

FINE! I'm just a NSF!

Eeek! So what if they have a few chocolate bars on their shoulders. Some officers are respectable, others are not.

Two regular officers (S2, andS3, 2 of the 4 most big f**k officers in the camp) were in a conversation with the HQ encik (HeadQuarter's Sergeant Major) while trying to solve a problem faced during our friday's route march. As my officer (2IC) decided to put me in charge. I have no choice but to join in the conversation with them.

I came up with a solution before them. I'm not trying to say I'm a smart alec or trying to prove that I'm cleverer then them. My solution is everyone who have attended Problem Based Learning(PBL) in their secondary school, JC or poly years can come up with.

However, perhaps I don't have a bar or two, or three in their case, no one give a damn about what I'm saying. I don't even have a chance to voice out my suggestions and opinions to any of them.

Getting frustrated, I gave a pat on my HQ encik's shoulders and suggested to him my idea. Thinking that my idea is logical, he agreed and suggested to the two officers who are still in a confusion of what to do, shouting to anyone on their walkie talkie, f**king here and there.

Sad to say, they don't gave a damn about what he said too. Minutes later, they came up with their own ideas. So smart of them! And the idea they suggested to the problem will take up at least doubled of the time the one I suggested.

I gave HQ encik a glance, who only can said, "No choice, they are of higher ranks!"

God damn! They are genius! I was "arrowed" to follow their instructions and continue their "idea" from there.

In the end, I took two hours plus to solve the "small" problem, that could be solved in just a hour time... Smart officers?!

Shawn Tay - Luckily, I'm just a NSF...

Teardrops

Saw a old friend on my way home. He commented that I've changed. No longer happy-go-lucky, no longer funny. I laughed, and replied, "Haha, you think too much" and bid goodbye.

Thinking...

I just dont laughed the way I used to be - my tears are many, my smiles a few.

Saw her photo yesterday.

So sweet. So beautiful.

She definetely have blossomed into a fine lady.

I wished I have the chance to cuddle her, love her, care about her.

Yet, she chose otherwise.

*Laughs*

But, it's really difficult not to think about her.

She's just too sweet...

Call me a coward!

Call me a louser!

All I can do is to think about her and not doing anything.

She just won't be mine...

*Laughs*

Shawn Tay - Wishing her luck in her exams...

A Week With e Nature

I'm back from Tekong. After six long freaking days with tress, mud, rainwater and "picky heat" powder... Shall not elaborate the details cause it simply sucks. High expectation OC, "SaiKang" giver Encik, f**k up same level sergeants, as well as problematic storemen... Luckily, is over now.

Got the "Outstanding Specialist of the Month" after a close fight with 30something other sergeants. Hee, the award is not important thou, is the 3 Days OFF that appealed to me. Now, I got 11 Days OFF accumulated. Yeah!

Went to visit a female sergeant who just gave birth. Hee, and her baby makes me smile for the day. I love babies. Innocent eyes, cute little fingers and toes and a chaste mindset. They just sleep and eat and sleep again... Haha, with no worries and problems... HaiZ, if I can be a baby once again...

Shawn Tay - Pondering again... One year and One month more to go...

DraMA AddicT

BuTT 4 EvA! Some shots at a dessert house at Chinatown...

恶男宅急电

曲名：爱过了头 歌手：范逸臣

我想我是爱过了头　才对你无边无际的奢求
任激情一路捉弄著我　像一碰即破的水晶球

我想我是爱过了头　才失去勇气甘心逗留
恶醉於你的眼光余波　像一蹶不振的小丑

梦睡成花朵　你吹来季风　谁能稀释爱情釀的酒
如果我放手所有寂寞堆在我身后　五官拥挤出伤痛
泪偷走了脸　叶落满你的夜　谁能跳过爱情的火圈
阳台如是说「约莫向晚的时候，来呼吸爱的起落」

我想我是爱过了头　才对你无怨无尤的纵容
当世界与我擦身而过　才訕笑自己太冲动

梦睡成花朵　你吹来季风　谁能稀释爱情釀的酒
如果我放手所有寂寞堆在我身后　五官拥挤出伤痛

泪偷走了脸　 叶落满你的夜　谁能跳过爱情的火圈
阳台如是说「约莫向晚的时候，来呼吸爱的起落」

Shawn Tay - A new show bought... By the guy in Love Contract (贺军翔)... Love the song inside...

Rage of Fire

Lost, raged, with a twist of fire. Agrhhh...

I lost my temper again, just like gals having their PMS (what a description!). Even planning an outing can be ended with quarrels, disagreements and disappointment! WTF!

Ten months ago, I told myself, I will not quarrel with anyone anymore for YEAR 2005. I will be a changed man with no temper. I will be a nice nice guy!

But how am I going be one if ppl besides me are getting into my nerves! And seriously, he irks me to the max just now!

Not that I hate him, in fact I felt a little sorry now. But I really hate ppl who have no suggestions and dared to say, "Anything, I'm easy going." Only to reject ppl's suggestions seconds later. Irks!

Anyway, I still love him la!

MR TAN JUNYU, u better suggest something and stop rejecting ideas next time! =)

Shawn Tay - Just a little nag

Love Contract

Hua suddenly passed me this show to watch.

It's about a boy and a girl who get together,

Due to a contract signed in order to get ppl to join a club.

But yet, on the process,

They found out that love is more then anything,

Definitely more than just a contract...

But it all came too late that the girl met with an accident,

And became paralysed...

In the end,

They ended their life together beautifully....

Love the girl's character,

Direct, straight forward on the external;

Yet sensitive and soft from the heart.

To me,

Love is not within time, dimensions, environment,

Nor is it within life and death.

Is a bonding between two hearts,

The most powerful energy in the universe...

Shawn Tay - Love can't be measured...

JuSt Be HaPpY

Laid on his soft tummy as I talked.
A sense of security, a feel of comfort.
"Daddy, I dunno what I want to do in future?!"
He gave a pat on my head and said,
"You can do anything. Just be happy!"

Flashes of memories reappeared in my thoughts.
CellCulture Hood at National Cancer Centre,
Labs at Ngee Ann Polytechnic,
I loved experiements.
But come to think about it,
Am I happy?
No.

Then I imagined... Four of us,
In our orange and turquoise world
Smiling as we discussed about things,
Worried about revenue and products.
Stressed but happy.
A feeling that I longed for.

I gave him my usual teddy bear hug,
Before I left his room for mine.
Feeling happy,
And seeing a future ahead.

Shawn Tay - Understanding "Be HaPpY aT wOrk"!

Career Path

Went supper with sis and bro in law,
Was asked again, countless of time,
Bout what I am going to do after NS?
Being managers in diff companies,
They came up with their own views of working,
As well as reality of the Business World.
*Sigh*
They tinkled my heart a little,
As I became lost again...

Chilled out with Hua,
Chatted about men, woman, friends.
And then back to our project,
Continued our orange and turquoise proposal,
And added purple and white into it.
*laughs*
We are proceeding,
Slow, but secure...

Swam with Junyu,
Chatted about life in and after army.
Demoralized by him,
Cause army seems to hinder everything.
Dreams, chances, career.
One year more,
Am I really determined to do what I want?

80% a YES, 20% a Dunnno.
All I wanted is to be a successful man,
Able to take good care of family,
And live happily ever after.

But is that easy?
God knows.

Nonetheless, I will try my best.
Regardless of failure.

If failed, I would still be proud to say:
"At least I tried!"

But touch wood... *laughs*

Shawn Tay - Second step towards the opening of his caffeine world.