Your Honour

Visited a court martial session for the first time in my life.
Though not a civilian one,
The military one is good enough for an eye opening.

Is something like the those lawyers in the TV,
Just that their speeches weren't as exciting.
But they were clear, precise and direct to their points.

The prosecutor talked real soft!
I decided to call her "mimi mimi" lawyer,
Coz she was mimi mimi - ing all the way while delivering her speech.

The defending lawyer was much cooler!
An Indian version of "Justice Bao",
Without the cresent, but a full moon on his tummy!

Anyway, both were good.
Managed to study that thick law book wasn't an easy task,
Let alone the fact that their client's freedom lie in their hands.

A bow to them.

Shawn's Quote of the Day:

We are standing on different sides of the river with a broken bridge. And never will there be a chance to get u into my arms again... I wanna used my hands to fix the bridge... But I never know how to... And therefore, u bid goodbye...

GOODBYE.

Shawn Tay - *Smiling again* Wondering how long am I going to live with this contrary syndromes...

LoOoOoOoOoSER!

TaY wEi SiAnG is a LOSER!!!

SeAh MuIhUi is a LOSER!!!

LiM kOk GuAn is a LOSER!!!

SoH cHiN kOk is a LOSER!!!

THE LOSER CLUB is formed...

Anyone wanna join?

Shawn Tay - We are the winnners of tomorrow thou...

The Trial and That Dream

The trial is concluded..
I'm serving my extra(s) next month.
11st (sat), 19th (sun) and 25th (sat).
Anyone who asks me out these days...
Be prepared to receive a knock on your head!!!

Sidetrack back to this afternoon.
I got a real bad dream. A real bad one.
Myraids of events happened.
It's scary...
To an extent that I smsed MeiHua once I woke up.

Dreamt bout her. About her getting pregnant.

And I saw her husband.
So handsome, but treated her with no respect.
But yet she's so in love with him.
I cried and cried.

Then the guy keep beating her up.
Abused.
But yet, to her, this is happiness.
I cried and cried.

Next I dreamt about uni application (I can't see the link).
Someone with GPA 3.0 got in,
But they rejected me at 3.608.
I cried and cried.

Then I saw her again.
With the child (I don't know why this scene)
Running away from me.
I cried and cried.

I went backpacked (daydreaming bout this b4).
Leaving away the sorrow and misery.
On the mountain top of Sydney. The blue one.
I cried and cried.

Perhaps is wrong of me to dream all these...
But I can't control it.
I would never want these to happen too.
And hope it will never happen.

Just sms-chatted with Hua.
Told Hua that I would forget the girl if she got herself a good man.
But I would get more heartbroken if she found the him.
Contradicting thoughts, yeah?

Cried on the way home in the car,
My mum asked why...
I said my eyes are quite dried.
(My heart had dried).

Please god,

Blessed her with happiness;
Blessed her with someone that she loves;
Blessed her with someone that loves her back;
Blessed her with my life.

Blessed me with luck;
Blessed me with the chance to get into the uni;
Blessed me with the answer to my future;
Blessed me to have enough power to get Hua over him too.

Shawn Tay - An emotional night...

Eugene

That fellow got that "eurasian" looks.
And with that body that every guy desired and eyes that kills,
He can electricfied any girls on the street.

To add on, he lives in a bungalow.
And have more than a million assert to be inherited.
From Catholic High, and have that boy's school charm.

He can be so nice to anyone,
That everyone regards him as buddies.
Yah, he was my buddy too.

To describe him further,
He's almost like Darren,
But with a greater sense of humour, higher level of confidence, and wrote like a literature poet.

However, he was so in love with that very wrong girl.
5 years to be exact.
And made his own life so miserably.

His 5 years love story,
Same duration, same story flows, same ending as mine.
Making us understand one another so well...

His msn has never be normal.
With the last one saying, "I still can't look at your photo without feeling my heart ache.. But I'm working on it."
Who can deny the fact that love is so cruel.

Saw him on the train before meeting Audrey and group for dinner last wed.
We talked, again, after long hours of phone conversation months ago.
A long, and close-to-the-heart conversation.

He scolded me for holding back something (or nothing).
I f**ked him back for doing the same too.
We were so aliked.

Frankly, I don't like that meetup session on the train.
He reminded me of her, while I reminded him of his her.
And so, we became sad boys on that fateful evening. *Sigh*

I changed my msn nick after seeing him again online two days later.
"I saw you on that train on that fateful evening. But still, my heart ached. But I'm working on it."
He replied with a smile.

Well, I hope he will be moving on soon...
And, I hoped I am moving on smoothly too...
After all, we are both still working on it.

Shawn Tay - Is moving as easy as said..?

A flick that melts my heart...

Well, it happened on a pathetic saturday night where no one wanna watched the show with me... And yet, I insisted of having it... So I moved my lazy ass off the bed, and took a bus to Great World City for that movie, alone.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

Though it might be a gay show, the message conveyed here was obviously clear that love is not something that one can control. Be it between a man to a woman, a woman to a woman, or man to a man...

In 1963, Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) show up penniless at a Wyoming ranch to look for work. The strangers are quickly assigned to herd sheep together on Brokeback Mountain. Be it the pristine setting in which they live, sleep and work together or the appearance that they're practically the last two people left on earth, something draws them together, and before long they share a tent and a raw liaison. In order to keep their jobs, they know they must keep this secret affair just that, and must decide on a larger scale whether or not to embrace their emerging love. Over the next 20 years, the two men—almost as if by familial rite of passage—marry and become fathers, but find themselves drawn back together.

Perhaps the director, Ang Lee, didn't deliberately tried to convey any message in the show, the slow moving love affair between the cowboys lacked of the desperation you see in gays, but yet, a stronger and motivating power about their love is being presented...

In the story, Jack and Ennis kept emphazing that they are not homosexuals, neither did they embrace their love for one another. However, after their first seperation at the foot of Brokeback Mountain, Ennis vommited immediately and cried, thinking that it was the rejection of his own sexuality preferances, only to discover that it was dued to the fact that, he's missing Jack so much.

4 Years later, they met down the road, only to have sex and sex again in a motel, as their desire for one another that become lust over the years... From that year onwards, they started to have frequent meet up sessions with one another, even thou both were tied down with wives and family. The movie didn't missed out the misery and agony u see in the actresses. Their husbands don't dare to love, and therefore, lived inside their own protected place, using them as a form of disguise. Through the sensitvity of women, do u think that they really dunno the forbidden secret of their husbands... Or do they choose not to know? Both Michelle Williams and Anne Hathaway used their own methods to face the reality. With the former filing a divore, and the latter drunk herself into career, transforming herself from a sweetie pie into a businesswoman.

The story didn't left out a tragic twist to end up the story beautifully. Jack was murdered while he was on his way to find Ennis at Mexico. When Ennis visited Jack's mother at her hometown near Brokeback Mountain, she didn't said much but managed to convey the message, "So, here's Ennis, my son's real love." through her acting. The movie earned my tears through the last part whereby Ennis visited Jack's room that have been left untouched twenty years ago, only to see his own shirt and Jack's, stained with blood, hung at the corner of the cupboard... A pair of shirts that was left behind twenty years ago when they have their first fight of love... A love that have been so strong that lasts forever...

The show left me a question that yet to be answered... Do they love one another, that's why they are gay? Or because they are gay, that's why they love one another? Perhaps love is not within man to woman, woman back to man, but between any beings that have strong affection for one another...

Rating: 9.5/10 - Highly recommended...

Shawn Tay - Watched I'm Not Stupid 2 with the burgies on Sunday. It was good too... I laughed like a cock ah! Haha!

DUTIES DUTIES DUTIES!!!

3SG TAY WEI SIANG
GOT HIS FIRST x3
EXTRA DUTIES!

Tragically, I'm the one who is in charge of recording and monitoring the punishment book... And he dared to sent an email telling me to record the offenders' list into the book, with my name as the first one! KaoZ!

Defination(s) of an extra duty:

1. Make a major mistake, not to be forgive. (For my case, I didn't monitor the men to do area cleaning! -_-" )

2. Offend the Company Sergeant Major (CSM). (I hate him from the first day of work, and so did many others. And I shouted at him at the last of our arguement, after saying countless of sorrys while he keep cursing. As I don't think is my fault, so to the officers and my collegues... Hello, this is my first duty in the new camp!)

3. 包Weekend Duties... (my first extra extra is next sat, no more holidays)

4. Time to curse the CSM. (Yah, my first time cursing someone, up to his 祖宗十八代！Behind his back, of course)

5. Time to miss school time... Or the outside world...

6. For me only... I miss that old bald man at 1SIR... Who brings me to eat 点心 during office hours!!!

I was lucky that my parents were waiting for me at the gate when I booked out on sat morning (辛福哦！)... We went to the nearby Vegetable Farm located at the Agrotechnology Park to get some fresh fruits and veggies... It was a refreshing trip. The air smell like that of a countryside, with a little gust of fertilizer smell at times... And the peeps there are so different from those peeps living in urban areas... All were so friendly, and spoke Teochew, which is a nice language I yet to mastered (or never)...

I would like to go to the Guppies Aquaculture Farm (I'm sick of QianHu) thereafter, but Dad rejected me... In case I get to focus with the fishes and dragged their breakfast timing or start pestering him to grab some cute little underwater creatures for me (he's the one who take care of the fishes all the while after I purchased them *paiseh*)... Humphf... So we proceed on with breakfast at CCK and then NTUC to replenish the groceries.

Drove to NP to meet Guoliang thereafter, only to discover that NP had changed so much over the years... Block 34 is no longer in use and the BIO block is now behind SIM... Sent him home after meeting Jun for coffee somewhere near his house... HaiZ, how time flies...

And tomorrow is Monday again... That CSM! AgRhhh!

Shawn Tay - Will get a StringRay as a new pet to agitate DaD... *Hiak Hiak*

Have You Ever?

Have You Ever? By Brandy

Have you ever loved somebody so much that it makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad , you can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right
Have you ever....Have you ever

Have you ever

Have you ever been in love..been in love so bad
You'd do anything...to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same

Have you ever searched for words to get you in the heart
But you don't know what to say and you don't know where to start

Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad , you can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right
Have you ever....Have you ever

Have you ever found the one you dreamed of all your life
Do just about anything...to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one...won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day that they will care

Have you ever loved somebody so much that it makes you cry
(makes you wanna break down and cry)
Have you ever needed something so bad , you can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right
Have you ever....Have you ever

What do I gotta to do to get you in my arms, baby
What do I gotta to say to get to ya heart
To make you understand how I need ya next to me
Gotta get ya in my world
'Cause baby I can't sleep

Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad , you can't sleep at night
(Breaks you apart inside)
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right
Have you ever....Have you ever

Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad , you can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right
Have you ever....Have you ever

~*~ Have you ever ~*~

Shawn Tay - Have I ever? I did! So do all of us, fellow human beings...

悲伤之歌

美妙的旋律, 动人的歌声

我在欢笑的伤悲中度过了漫长的两个夜晚。

歌，却实能打动人心。

他们的歌声触动了我心生处。

我也在不知情的情况下，

洒下了一滴“人生真是无可奈何“的泪水。

是，他们都是爱情的败者。

为了对方而废寝忘食，神魂颠倒，

为了爱而迷失了方向， 也迷失了自己。

前晚，好友的《FOREVER LOVE》，

唱出了他对爱情的执迷不悟。

“Forever love，forever love

我只想用我这一辈子去爱你

从今以后，你会是所有幸福的理由”。

执著的爱情，希望对方能被感动，
但，已经不完美的爱，

真的想夺回来？

还是为了弥补心里头的那点空虚。。。

昨晚，友人从国外回来，

在不见他的这段日子，发见他成熟了！

多了一股男人味，却失去了他原有的纯真。

他失恋了！这段恋情伤了他好重。

虽然他还跟以网一样的常言欢笑，

但，我却从他的眼神中看到了孤单，也看到了自我。。。

我与他合唱的一首《分手快乐》，

感动到在场的所有的人。。。

虽然在那场爱情游戏中，

我与她并没有开始，就已经结束，　

但我一然必须感谢她给过我的那一丝蠋光。

“分手快乐，祝你快乐，你可以找到更好的，

不想过冬，厌倦沉重，就飞去热带的岛屿游泳，

分手快乐，请你快乐，挥别错的才能和对的相逢，

离开旧爱，像坐慢车，看透撤了心，

就会是晴朗的，没人能把谁的幸福没收，

你发誓你会活的有笑容，

你自信时候真的美多了”。。。

真希望他们都能从失败重爬起，

寻找属于自己的海阔天空。。。

贤－可能真正的忘了她，是等到她或自己找一份新的恋情吧！

简简单单

歌曲：简简单单

歌手：林俊杰 专辑：编号89757

我们都是泡沫轻轻一碰就破
眼泪是爱的火花
昨天就像飞机穿过我的窗口
我什么都没有
我摊开了双手你予取予求
直到你想自由
痛苦的时候我不会闪躲
就像树叶甘心为春风吹落
只是简简单单的爱过
我还是我
简简单单的想过
就不算白活
简简单单的疯过
被梦带走
当故事结束之后
心也喜欢一个人寂寞

Shawn Tay - For Hua (as requested) and all who are trapped by complicated love affairs... Simple love is the most beautiful way of loving... No point thinking it so hard...

My CNY Celebration

Chinese New Year can be summarised into just one word:

TIRING!

Was appointed as the chauffer on the day b4 New Year Eve. Whole evening was spent driving around supermarket and relatives' houses, topping up goodies and distributing hampers, presents etc, before meeting up the burgies at Chervons for JackPots!

Pathetic as life could be... Chinese New Year Eve morning was spent running between Lim Chu Kang Camp and Mombray, as a criminal was discharged from Detention Barracks. A intensive suntanning with Hua followed thereafter before having a nice nap and the Reunion Dinner... Got rather pissed off during the gambling session at night... But luckily Hua was there to neutralize it, and Poh got rather rowdy after a pint of Barcardi Breezer?!

Chu Yi was spent with my paternal grandparents and relatives... So it was a casual thing as we see one another pretty often... Kids do grow, don't they? Baby Justin can walked without struggling and Charmaine started Primary One... =) Is lovely to play with the kids, isn't it...? They made me laughed through my heart uncontrollably. Especially when Grandma called Justin, "My Xiao Wang Zi!"... Haha, I knew I'm no longer the favourite... But yet I am happy that at least she got a devilish prince to keep her busy in her golden years... I want my brunch of kids too!

Don't really like Chu Er of CNY. Not that my maternal relatives are hard to please (in fact, some of them might be...), but we see one another only once in a year... Or perhaps twice or more if there's any occassions like Wedding Dinner and Funeral (choy!). So the usual thing when meeting up is:

1. Shake Hands.

2. Exchange Happy New Year Greetings.

3. Silent. Sit down, talk cock with brother.

4. Older relatives come over and and commented a little here and there.

5. Laugh. Accept their comments.

So usually by night time, Bro and I would smuggled ourselves out for supper and headed for home before Dad spotted our absence(s).

Yesterday was rather interesting though. As Sis went to Switzerland for work, Bro and I decided to bring our lonely BrotherInLaw out for dinner. (Hey! He was cooking a sweet potato for dinner when we called him...!) So we headed for food at Jurong followed by "chicks" visiting at GeyLang. As usual, brother was the only one who girls and pimps came forward and asked whether he wanna any. He just got the looKs la! Typical Ah Seng! We ended the night eating "GuiLinGao" before calling it a day...

And today I was on MC... Haha

Shawn Tay - Am I lucky for the new year? Someone decided to change my Sat COS duty for a weekday one! *hiak hiak*