Reminiscences (Army Dazes)

A New Blog, A New Life

2006-09-23T22:05:00.000+08:00

I have moved.
The story of the caffeine addict continues @ www.cuppa.blogspot.com .

ShawnTay - tehokosong.blogspot.com have became history. *Smilez*

I cried, cause I'm happy for you

2006-09-20T23:53:00.000+08:00

I promise myself,
And probably u,
Is a last entry about you.

A big blow to end this tiring day.
A sense of relaxation with an aching heart.
I did burst out when on phone with butt,
But deep inside my heart,
I'm sincerely happy for you.

I dunno myself either,
Why am I so madly in love with you.
Still remembering the first time I saw you...
At Block 34, wearing AMKSS uniform during NP openhouse,
The princessly image became an affection,
An affection that is haunting me thru my poly life and NS life.
Not forgetting those fond memories we once had...

But as what u said,
Is past tense. Is ending. Or rather ended. I know that.
I felt the difference too after reading some of my previous entries.
I'm ending on my side too, thou is two years late.
But at least, Butt and Jun felt the differences too.

So, actually part of me have expected today to come.
I have had myself mentally prepared,
But just that. Just that.
My response was different from what I thought.
I'm not strong afterall.

I plead for a few more weeks. Or months.
For me to discover the real one in uni,
So that I can forget you thoroughly.
Part of man's pride i suppose.
On contrary,

I guess I will never find the one with the presence of you.
*Laughs*

This two years,
I led a very contradicting life.
Eagerly looking forward to all the poly outings,
So I can see you again.
But usually it ended with you not coming,
Or the fact that I'm thinking of you as the outing ended.

I felt like a pester at times too,
Invading your life,
And disturbing you for loving you so.
I felt like a bastard. Definitely a loser.

I guess u know it too...
Thru some of the blog entries I wrote,
Which expected some responses from u,
But you choose not to make any.
I thank you for not making any responses,
And not giving me any false hopes in any ways.

Or maybe u dunno that,
I wrote this blog mainly for you.
A psychological way of updating u bout my life thou,
And how you are not forgotten.
Some entries that I have written,
But chose not to publish them,
Coz I thought is not the wrong thing to do.
Hence, they are stored in my pvt entries.

Finally, I'm putting down a five years old stone from heart.
Love, like a river,

Will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle.
I guess my river has dried up.
I'm looking for my own angel to fill the river with the water again.

I wish you luck in your new relationship.
You don't have a easy time in love too.
At last, you found him. =)
Love, an emotion so strong that you would give up everything.
To just feel it once, to know that you are part of something special.
To know that you can feel what love really is; to know, to feel, to love.
I congrats u for having that.
Wholeheartedly from my heart.

To you, Catherine (BaoLian).

ShawnTay - With all the love I had for you, I make them into blessings for u and him. Love is knowing you are the bud from which his happiness blossoms.

Weekend Update

2006-09-19T22:47:00.000+08:00

Friday:

Had a coffee session with the burgies at JP before catching a flick, Banquet. I think that the movie was overrated. It seems that the director wanted to bring out the story in a very beautiful and artistic way but had overdone it. Some of the scenes are actually funny then artistic. But I liked the plot thou, is about two women who seeked different priorities in lives. One seeked power over love, while the other seeked love over anything else. It seems to indicate women in the society these days, and how men (the roles of the emperor and the crown prince in the flick) are manipulated by them. From my own point of view, I think that Zhou Xun presented her character in the show well enough, as she managed to bring out her affection and lust towards the prince, and her desire towards life before she died. Zhang Ziyi on the other hand, couldn't bring out the wild part of the empress, and her desire towards having the kingdom as her own. She did a good job at seducing the emperor thou. The pros and costumes in the show were good. (Rating: 7/10)

Saturday:

Dinner with the poly cliques at Butt's Dad's stall. The sambal chilli and the stingray were good. Sat on the lorry while going to ktv at chevrons. I like siting on lorries. Having the wind blowing towards the face makes one think. I thought about a few stuffs, and proud of myself for making certain moves. =)

Sunday:

Sunday is no fish day. =( Went to the fish farm at Punggol to fish for four hours with bro-in-law. Dad and Mum joined us thereafter. Luckily the sun was good and the environment was lovely, to accompany a NO - FISH me. Bro-in-law got a snapper thou.

Anyway, I bought a new pond fishing rod. Dad's green old rod for the open sea, which accompany him since his marriage life started (32 years and still counting on!), will be retiring with glory. So, I have to delcare bankrupt now for the $140 spent on the limited edition rod, the shimano Sienna 1000FB gear, as well as to refill some fishing accessories.

ShawnTay - I hope to have my virgin catch for this rod soon! =)

Let's Talk Bout Girls

2006-09-16T05:33:00.000+08:00

Was looking through the old files in my computer to be deleted. And came upon a folder containing pictures (not porn la!) of some superstars that I like.

From HongKong:

佘诗曼

阿Sa

From Singapore:

李之仪

From Korea:

宋慧乔

From Taiwan:

林依晨

And I came to a conclusion that the girls I like / liked would have this few attributes. LoL.

1. Big or high cheekbones.
2. Bubbly, round faced.
3. Fair skinned.
4. Big eyes, somewhere in between fierce and innocent.
5. Sweet Looking and cheerful.
6. Usually act as bad tempered girls in dramas. (I wonder what about real life?! Haha)

ShawnTay - Im bored!

Drama Addict

2006-09-13T12:45:00.000+08:00

Catching a new korean drama, Full House since this morning (1203am).
Since then, the DVD player ran for the next eight hours....
And I managed to finish 12 episodes of it within a day. *LoL*
AgrrrH,I'm so in love with the female and male lead now manz!
(Yeah, I got some bisexual traits in within.)
Rain is cool, but Song Hye-kyo is awesome! Haha!
And due to that, I skipped a two hours lecture in the morning.
Biochemistry and IT tutorials are dued today, but I haven't do yet.
And right inside the IT lecture now, I typing this blog.
To add on, the Full House DVDs are in my bag!
And there are two hours break later...
*Evil Grins*

Gosh... Someone, kill me!

ShawnTay - And now, I have super dark rings!

EQ

2006-09-11T02:20:00.000+08:00

Your EQ is 133

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

ShawnTay - I guess my IQ will be different. Keke.

Happy.

2006-09-10T12:54:00.000+08:00

Have some thoughts after yester's alumni,
Didn't sleep until four in the morn.
And came to a conclusion.

A sense of touch,
A touch of realisation.
And perhaps an old tired smile.

At least Butt is happy,
With her new love life.

At least HongKiat is happy,
As what he said so in his blog.

At least Darren is happy,
Though he didn't dare to give it all out.

At least KG is happy,
He loves Taiwan.

At least most of my friends are happy.
They influenced me somehow,
And I'm definitely happy for them.

And I came to my own conclusion.
A blog typed, but didn't published.
Saved as draft, and shall be one of my pvt entries.

Anyway the field trip at Labordor Park today was refleshing.
Energetic thou only slept for two hours.
Shall look forward to more field trips.

It begins with a lazy morning.

And the marine biology students start their jobs...

New star-like-stuffs discovered. Only this few on the whole coast.

The big green bubbles. Sea Grapes.

Some dead ones. Sad.

Algae growing on woods. Haiz. Human impacts!

Let's see what he saw....

Marine biologists-to-be at work.

New friends met.

OG senior and her juniors taking the same module.

It end with a Black Retriver.

And his master.

ShawnTay - At least, it isn't as taxing as years b4 anymore.

Is A FridaY!!!

2006-09-08T17:21:00.000+08:00

A long pract today.
Never like biochemistry expts.
It was boring.
Half dead after pract.
*Dead n Flat*

Planned to go for a haircut,
And maybe swim with Jun after pract.
In the end, the pract ended late.
So, after lunch and a nice chat session with some new pract mates,
Its already four in the afternoon.
And I went home instead. *LoL*
ShiT man, I missed seeing the burgies la!

Tomorrow will be a fruitful but busy saturday.
Field trip to Larbador Park 6am in the morning (!),
With some new found lecture mates,
From Natural Heritage of Singapore.
Yeah, environmentalists at work in the morning! -_-"
Main aim is to study the whatever shit found at the beach at low tide.
Haha. So that's why, 6 in the morn...
And then it will be the alumini dinner thingy,
And I'm looking forward to that.
It's another pink party! *LoL*

ShawnTay - Going out now, coz is fri nite!!!

Time Management

2006-09-06T17:10:00.000+08:00

It seems like...
Time got something against me.

Was telling butt this morning,
That "I got a hard time chasing time".
And now I choose to believe the fact that,
I'm a full time slacker.

Today was a good example.

I got a hard time waking up due to yester's TV.
And hence, I was half an hour late for the 10am lecture .
Due to that, I gotta sit on the floor,
As the lecture caters for the module was too small.

And as I happily went to submit my student exchange application,
I found out that I was two days late.
The deadline was 4th Sept!!! Dub.
Luckily, they still accepted it unwillingly.

After a four hours lecture straight, 3.5 hours in my case,
My uni pals and I decided to eat the the Biz canteen,
And thus, we were late for the IT tutorial. Sigh.
And left us with no computers at all, and gotta used the TA's notebook.

And the day ended with me buying zero textbooks from the CO-OP.
The organic Chemistry Textbook which was sold out since the 1st week,
Was still unavailable due to a delay in the shipment.
I guess I gonna flunk that, coz the lecturer dun give notes!
And the Natural Heritage of Singapore Textbook,
Was unavailable too, thou it just arrived mid last week!!!

I should have grabbed them on the first minute.

AgrrrH.

Sidenote:
I was the first few on the queue for the underwaterworld and dolphin lagoon free ticket thou! Haha, the only good stuff for taking up the Natural Heritage of Singapore module.

ShawnTay - And now, the IT assignment due tomo, chem report due on fri. As usual, it's lastr minute work again. Haiz. I should change.

Growing Up

2006-09-05T23:49:00.000+08:00

A picture taken on KG's birthday not too long ago. Though not all are present, this picture is still one of the fullest photo we had taken so far this year of the 1F08 poly gang that still remained in contacts after graduation. I wonder how long will we get to take another picture like this again....?! PauL had left for Canada last Sunday, and Ah Guan smsed me about his departure from Singapore to Taiwan this morning. HK is also leaving for Australia in a few months time, while Kris and Irene only appeared once every ~~~ 800 years?!?! Haiz. That's part of growing up I guess.

A picture taken with Bro KG last year Christmas. I'm looking forward in meeting him in Taiwan with butt, HK and Tingz this coming December. Enjoy urself there dude!

I sort of think it through thoroughly. Since I can't change my fate, I try to improve it... I will be submitting the application for a student exchange to either the UK or Canada during Semester 2.1, with University of Edinburgh as my first choice tomorrow. The US ones are seriously too over budget. And hence now, I'm going to save and earn as much money as possible.

Side note:
Congrats on your 6th?!
I really think is different this time round.
Wish you luck.
Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes.
Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears.
What is it else?
A madness most discreet,
A choking gall and a preserving sweet.
Whoooosh.
Awfully sweet.

ShawnTay - And so, I shall continue to dream.

Back From e Airport

2006-09-03T08:21:00.001+08:00

Finally, PoH is gone to Canada with a dream to fufill.
Seeing the crying faces of the dear ones at the airpot,
Always get me into this emotional state.
And hence after countless hours of non-sleep,
With an aid of a cuppa at 2am.
Another at 6, which is a charity from Kris.
I'm typing this irrational but true to my heart entry.

Dearest Kris hit me on the spot just now,
As we sat on the Burger King's seats talking with PoH.
He said Butt and I were the first with the overseas thoughts.
Yeah, but without actions at the end...
Indeed.

Since polytechnic years,
I was the one talking about dreams.
With the passion to study overseas, I set myself the goal.
The goal to study at Melbourne, or even further,
Get me aspired to complete my diploma.
But it seems like as the years dragged,
Without supportive parents anymore,
I decided to stay in my comfort zone,
And complete things within my own boundaries.

PoH is a strong guy,
Independent, determined;
Or even stubborn at times.
But at least the stubborn trait keeps him going,
And he is what he is today.
His first step towards his dreams.
As for me?
Yeah, indeed, NUS life sciences degree sounds cool,
But isn't an overseas experience,
A dream fufilled sounds much more cooler?

I was trying to find an alternative.
As I drove home along the expressway,
After dropping Butt home.
Staying in NUS for four years just isn't what I want.
And it just won't keep me happy.

I hope to get job real soon,
Save some money,
And maybe go for a semester exchange.
To either the States or Vancouver.
But somehow,
The business minor is stopping me,
Cause I prob can't squeeze the modules to other semS.

On the other hand,
Irrationally, illogically, or rather absurdly,
I really feel like quitting school.
NUS isn't that bad, I know.
But is simply not what I want.
I know the consequences I got to bear.
The disappointment of my folks,
Ugly comments of the relatives,
And perhaps,
A fuck up life for the rest of my life.

Or maybe I should try that scholarship Doris got it,
The one that Butt kept mentioning a year ago...

AgrrrH, life isn't that simple actually.

ShawnTay - Somehow, I'm determined.

Back to School

2006-09-02T20:38:00.000+08:00

It's sweet to wake in an awesome morning like today and know you don't have to rush for a shower, stuff your shitload of stuffs - lecture notes, labcoat into a bag bursting with a 2.3kg laptop. And drag your feets to the bus stop and head for more brain damage activities taking place in school. Everyday, getting myself up outta the bed becomes an ordeal. It applies to Mum too - for waking me up. =) The thought of it alone releases instant feelings of fatigue... Zzzzz... AgggrhhH! But I guess, I have "acceptably" reverted myself back to a state of being a tertiary robot again after two years. Cause afterall, school was considered fun. I did regretted not staying in hall thou. But the guilt that's filling me right now, is that 10% test that is going to take place this coming tuesdaY. ANd yet, I haven't even touch a single page of my notes yet. Someone there, grab that knife and kill me pls~~~. Sending PoH in a few hours time... Never expected this day to come so fast...

A random pic...

ShawnTay - Just a normal ranting session.

Few Words to a Few Dear Ones

2006-08-30T23:56:00.000+08:00

To the ever-sunshine soulmate who lost a little shine:

When you have no light to guide you,
And no one to walk beside you,
I will come to you.
When the night is dark and stormy,
You won't have to reach out for me,
i will come to you."

To the Panda who's getting even darker rings:

Together,
We went thru shit.
Together again,
Let's turn the shithole gold!

To the one at Amara Hotel waiting for my call:

I never neglect you.
I was too busy.
See you this friday night?
I promised.

To the best chatter who calls are lesser these days:

You are not forgotten.
Heck care whether I'm busy not.
Call me for a chat soon.
Yeah?!

ShawnTay - Our paths may change as life goes along, but the bond between friends remains ever strong

Good Luck to "Protected Tree"

2006-08-29T20:06:00.000+08:00

In just five days time,
Poh is leaving for Canada,
For seven freaking long years or more,
To further his studies n fulfill his dreams.
I gonna miss you, dude.
And so, here's my blessing for you.

Thinking about the things we went thru,
1F08 guys' brotherhood;
Our first ever diving trip with HK at Tioman;
The YEP trip wih Hua, KG and others;
As well as your little secrets and stuffs.
It's indeed sweet and fond memories of my life.

YEP marked an important chapter of our lives,
Thru the ups and downs we faced,
And living together under one roof,
Our bond is strengthened, our friendship developed further.
Thinking bout the first ever cooking sessions,
Sharing of the chendol by the dirty roadside stall,
I can't stopped laughing as I looked thru the old photos.

I never came across anyone liked you;
Who worked so hard for to fulfill one dreams.
Researching, planning, working hard towards it,
Finally, you are all set and ready to go.
From my heart,
I truely respect your determination.
And you got my applause for that.

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be ever at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
And may the rain fall softly on your fields.
And until we meet again,
You got my blessings.

May flowers always line your path and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that's always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.
And until we meet again,
You got my blessings.

Good luck, dude.

ShawnTay - We only part to meet again.

Right People, Right Place, Wrong Conclusion

2006-08-26T01:31:00.000+08:00

Met up with the burgies for a cuppa after my night lecture.

Holland Village's Essential Brew serves good Chinese Tea;

And to add on, the crowd was "goooood".

The babes were sexxxxy!?!?

*Cheeky Smilez"

Everything was on the right track.

As everyone updated their current lives.

Jun's clearing leave session;

GL's Dinosaurs and the Jurassic Park;

Hao and his pageant girls;

And my own uni and private life.

Its good to see that the bond is still there,

Though we all are leading different pathways;

N meet only once in awhile nowadays.

The whole session was relaxing,

Not until Jun popped out that he don't feel like going Taiwan.

Obviously I wasn't damn happy about it,

But I don't wish him to go there half hearted also.

So be it.

I'm still going;

With HK, Tingz and butt.

Hope you guys don't dissappointed me too...

Shawn Tay - And now, I'm going to save money. My POSB's newest value is $19.95...

Bascially, Is Photowhoring

2006-08-24T22:32:00.000+08:00

HongKiat crashed in for one of my lectures yesterday,
And I skipped a two hours lecture for the 1st time in uni thereafter.
Had lunch before heading to town to buy KG's present with Hua.
Photowhoring happened (!) while trying to get bro a card.

This picture used "looking diaoZ" as the theme.

Then is "act innocent", with a touch of "lovable".

Of course, it must end with a "act cute!"

Tata! Our masterpiece for KG.... He loves it... He must love it!!!

We went to an interesting cafe thereafter,
With "TOYS" as their main theme.
And they have nice table papers...

I want to get that 'tan'!

See! He got a sharp nose! Shuai!

She's getting prettier...
And I'm still the same!!!

Haha... Jie fei! Jei fei!
And then, finally, after 800 years,

At Chinatown porridge stall,
We met KRIS for dinner!!!

That's him, my cb kia with his ever cheeky smile....
Maybe he's up to something?!
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-_-" A kiss on Hua's face....

His "good job done" looks....
Poor butt!
Haha... A little disgusting thou...

Beloved Bro with his super nice card...

A photo of us all...
We went Arab street for coffee with Paul's after dinner...
And he obviously gained too much weight...

While going to Hongkong for like 9 days?!?

I wonder how he will look like,

After a year at Canada?!

THE DIVERS of our clique....
One go Cananda,
Another go Melbourne,
Left a pathetic me in Singapore!
LoL

And then, photowhoring with my fav pairs again...

Followed by a pic with Paul.

Since he heading to Canada,

He's taking pic with all of us...

The Arab place is nice for a chill out...

I love it.

And I love myself too...

So,

Mr. Vain in action!!!

The four guys who loves camera...

And guys do know how to

~~~Act cute~~~

And finally, some nice shots I taken...

The flying guys!!!

Wonder why Im not in therE?

Coz butt's not a good photographer...

See HK's gallery for details.

LoL

Ok, I admit, I wasn't a good jumper either!!!

To end it, I love u guys!!!

ShawnTay - And now, I caught the flu bug...

At Macs, Mugging

2006-08-22T00:51:00.000+08:00

I'm blogging at West Coast McDonald with Hua!

Monday, a new week to start afresh!
2nd week of lesson wasnt that bad.
Start off with Organic Chem;
Thats scottish guy refuses to give us lecture notes,
Wanna us to go grab the text,
So, before I kill myself,
Determined to get the textbook after lecture!!!

Lunch at NUH with Joon, Vivien, Joanna, Amyleaa and RouYu.
Before having the same 20 laps swim at BV swimming complex.
Back to school, textbook purchasing began!
Organic Chem text sold out,
Yah, but I bought the rest.
Dad chauffeured me back home,
Love him, one and only Dad.

Collected contact lenses from optical shop,
N decorated my semester notebook.
MSNing, IVLEing, Blog Reading, Notes Arranging.
Collected my pink IC. from Jack.
Off to McDonald for some muggings.
N here I am, BLOGGING!!!
LoL

ShawnTay - Mugging can't take place n McDonald... Haha

Fruitful Thursday

2006-08-18T16:43:00.000+08:00

A Thursday well spent.
A flower grew from the pot of catus today,
And Mum said it meant good luck.

Went to school for lecture.
Sat beside a guy who kept looking at my blank notes.
God knows why.
Swam for 20 laps during the 4 hours break.
Fatigued, but feels good.
Brother KG crashed in for the biochem lecture.
Always feel comfortable with him around.
Reminiscencing those days he sat on my right,
Ivy on my left.
It becomes Samantha on my left yesterday.
Poly years are good memories to be kept,
But everyone got to move on with their lives.
So am I.
Dinner with Hua and KG.
Followed by an experiment with Hua at my house.
My fantasy of becoming a hairstylist has come true!
Resulting in a no different hair colour Hua. LoL.
And then the day always ended with photowhoring.

*Laughs*
~tata~

Chun li making in progress!

My results.

Photowhoring!!!

Shawn VS Hua

Crazy version of 花样年华。

Lonely?! Nah! Camera effect.

ShawnTay - Ended.

Busy Schedule

2006-08-16T23:06:00.000+08:00

Been busy this week, but with a sense of motivation to strive hard.
Even more motivated then the time I entered poly.
Tutorial registration, buying textbooks etc kept my first week of uni life occupied.
Decided to put the thoughts of joining sailing club aside first,
And get use to the way a university runs.
Might be joining as a senior for science club next year thou.
And formed the stone family like what my senior said.
Anyway, I guess I'm adapting slowly to the university life.
New friends, new school, new way of life.

Moving on might seems easy as said,
But every single movement of her still makes me worry here and there.
Not those kind of pain that pierced thru my heart anymore,
But those type of pain that hurts a little when u touched an almost healed scar.
Nonetheless, I will still remain as the angel and protect her as I once said.
Till the day her ideal guy appears.
Then I can have a heartily cry and move on from there.
I'm sincerely have moved on to my max.
Just that love sometimes can't be control.
So just be it, I will try to be happy.

ShawnTay - Molecular Genetics is fun!

School Starts

2006-08-15T22:06:00.000+08:00

Orientation finally ended, and school starts. Is indeed a culture shock that university life is so much different from polytechnic. Quoting an example, tutorial and practical timeslots are not pre-allocted to us. We got to choose and register them online. Some are by balloting, some are by first come first serve basic. And I thought I was early to register my chemistry pract and tutorial today, only to discover that all the desired timeslots are full! And it was only three hours from the opening of the registration. I start to understand what are the attributes of a real university student. I'm too slack!

Molecular Genetics lecture today was fun, but yet, I predicted that this module is not gonna to be easy... The lecturer treated us like "we know everything from JC since its just the introduction"... And yet, I have returned my knowledge on Cell Biology and Genetics to NgeeAnn two years ago. The funny thing is out of all sudden, in the middle of the lecture, I started to miss Dr. Teo and Dr. Phang. Alot.

I was disturbed from my daydream by a fellow siting in front of me who was pressing the calculator, trying to calculate the thickness of the cell wall!?! Unintentionally, I peeped his notes. It was "Notes and diagram everywhere!!!". Then I look at mine, only to see a A4 sized plain paper, with my name and the module title on it. Now, I start to realize the different between a poly and JC student. The utimate ones are those who went down the lecture hall to look for the lecturer to clear their queries, even though its just the first lesson. And it was called Introductory to Genetics... I wonder what's next...

ShawnTay - I will write notes too at the next lecture! =P

Advancing to e Next Stage

2006-08-08T20:23:00.000+08:00

Hua's Birthday Present was a makeover package as planned. At first, she stunned me by asking me to "curse n swear" the ultimate one that her present won't be a makeover, cause she was too "shy" to have one. But in the end, everything turned out good, and I guessed it was a special experience for all. I appreciated all those who spared their time to attend this special mini gathering, and their efforts put in for her birthday. I guessed all of us have a fun time together. Thanks all n love u guys.

School Orientation is still in the progress and I guess I'm fairing alright, except feeling inferior at times with those smart kids who can play well, yet study as well too. The 3 days 2 nites camp was a good ice breaking session since I was alone, and yesterday OG's outing to the Settlers' Cafe was fun. Today's Flag Day was a little hectic thou. Currently bidding for Dynamics of Interpersonal Effectiveness as my first general elective. Hopefully it will do some justifications for the high points I used to bid it. The points I used can bid two normal general electives.

Feeling tired due to the long hours spent in orientation, but I'm loving it as it allows me to know more people, and adapting to the university life slowly. Just hoped that it won't be too overwhelming when the curriculum starts. Anyway, Happy National Day fellow Singaporeans!

ShawnTay - A different life for the next four years.

Poly Unfriendly

2006-08-04T13:46:00.000+08:00

I'm lost. Just came back from the middle of my camp. Managed to know some friends there, and I did spotted a few poly students like Yixiong and Lyon.. BUT, right now, I'm home to collect my transcript. And I got to bring down my transcript to the academic advisor to verify before he preallocated the RIGHT modules for me. I wasn't given any chemistry modules like the other poly students. And I was even there happily thinking that's because I scored all As or even A+s in all the chemistry modules I took in poly and jolly well exempted. BUT, I was wrong. I went down to double confirmed, and they want me to take bridging modules before I can take that chemistry modules to get my life sciences degree cause I choose to not verify my results on 1st Aug. FCUK! In fact, I went, and the people there just tell me to go home, and said its not necessary. A package has been set up for poly students like me. I wondered did they really set up one!? It's so like we are the second citizens there. Hello ppl all out there, my diploma is not a waste paper k! Is something I used three years to grab, and I'm very proud of it. But right now, I feel like shit. Going back to settle that now, if not, perhaps, I would just quit school.

ShawnTay - Back to camp!

Fortune Telling

2006-07-31T08:29:00.000+08:00

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A packed sunday, and a busy week ahead.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sunday
Went prawning with bro from 3am - 6am.
Breakfast with parents at Bedok thereafter.
Went Bedok's Thai Buddhist Temple for a pray.
四马路's Buddhist Temple for normal prayers.
Went Hua's house with Fiona and Aloy.
Pressies from HK. Love it, esp the purple tee. Thanks babe!

Monday
Wild Wild Wet with the burgies.

Tuesday
Matriculation

Wednesday
Clubbing session with Darren and guys.
Anyone wanna join?

Thursday
Back to camp. Pink IC lo!
Modules bidding begins.

Friday
Dinner and Gathering with Hua and guys.
Will sms you u guys the venue and time. =)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, went for the fortune telling as suggested by Mum. Did one at the Thai Temple for my studies and future. It was as said:

"You are very ambitious and planned well ahead, but yet, you devastated that you are still far away from your starting point. Rest assure everything will be fine, cause in time, things will be proved by your ability to achieve. Don't give up the present, cause its the stepping stone towards your future. In years time, with the aid of a benefactor (close kin of yours), you will reach your utimate goal, and even over it."

This is so accurate sia! I don't mean the successful part la, but about the I got a career plan but still far away from it, and how negative I felt. We even joked that the benefactor is my dad! Cause he forced me to study in Singapore for good. -_-" Hopefully is what the wishing buddha said ah. =)

Then went to Bugis for the normal prayers and qiu qian. This time round on love. It was ermmm, not so good one ah. As said:

"The whole place is burnt but with a lotus that is still surviving... ... ... (dunno how it continues)".

Went to read the book and found out that it meant that there are troubles and problems everywhere. Everything in the fire are burnt except a stalk of lotus. If it's on love, eventually I will still find the one, but with lot of obstacles and problems. Currently love situation will neither be a yes nor a no. If there is someone in mind, the person neither love nor have neutral feeling on me. Somewhere in between both. Benefactor will come in to save it all. *Eyes big big* Don't understand? I can't either. Let's see how things go bah!.

ShawnTay - Wild Wild Wet on a rainy day! Yeah! -_-"

I'm alone

2006-07-28T22:13:00.000+08:00

For 15 years of studies, including the two years in kindergarden, today is the first day I felt so alone. I got no one besides me to talk to when attending the seminar talk, and is just not me to sit alone, quiet, listen to lectures. All the JC kids mingled and gathered around in their respective JCs. I saw one campmate and he introduced me to his Hwa Chong JC friends, and there was like 15 of them!! The camp onseekers remained in their OG groups (identity: FOS camp tees), and not forgetting those REAL science geeks that won't even know my existence. I felt worst when looking around, and remembering the camp days that I used to attend in the poly years. I am definitely more then just devastated to miss it out. And probably dued to that, I can't be a camp leader next year, cause I would have not know any seniors (as yet). ARMY to blame! Anyway, this whole seminar is tailored for JC kids, not for a poly baddie like me, so I decided to leave halfway to do my utra late medical check up even before Dean's arrival. Looking at the good side, I managed to spot some poly students during the QnA sessions. All thanks for the "informative" contents in the talk that they provided poly students with. It left us hanging in the air! The culture shock has began.

ShawnTay - Let me win the ballot for the 2nd Orientation camp please. God bless.

True Friendship

2006-07-27T08:05:00.000+08:00

"We always thought;
We'd look back on our tears and laugh.
But we never thought;
We'd look back on our laughters and cry."

~ ShawnTay ~

BLAAFH

2006-07-26T04:00:00.000+08:00

It's bold.

It's loud.

It's for the PLU.

It's for the pink market.

It's the 'in' thing this season.

It's BLAAFH!!!

Hmmmm, how shall I begin... BLAAFH is actually a local brand exclusively for the PLUs or rather the gays in Singapore. It's a online boutique kind of thingy, and opened by two real fit dudes (nice gays) and a babe, Leslie, Eddie, and Irene. Remember two years ago, I was having this stint as a fashion designer before enlisting? Yup, I worked with them in particular and come out with a few original designs myself... I thought it was out of production or something, until it popped out online recently. Do check them out here.

Their clothings are not really gayish and suitable for the straight guys, or rather the SNAGs and meterosexual too. I thought the blue stripped, white collar tee below is quite a good buy. Do check out on their website, yeah? And contact me if u guys into any of the apparels, or you can just buy them online. They are real nice and cool people to deal with.

Blue Stripped Shirt for a day by the beach.

2006-07-26T03:50:00.000+08:00

My Design 1: Flower by e Side Army Green Tee

2006-07-26T03:49:00.000+08:00

My Design 2: "The Art Of Love" Rooster Red Tee

2006-07-26T03:48:00.000+08:00

My Design 3: I'm a lovely princess baby blue tee.

2006-07-26T03:47:00.000+08:00

My Design 4: A green Pullover

2006-07-26T03:46:00.000+08:00

Not by me, but this is lovely.

Korean Restaurant, Sentosa, Geylang Durian Feast, YueLao Temple

2006-07-25T22:44:00.000+08:00

Weekend was well spent.

Fri nite was spent in a local Korean Restaurant. We were lucky enough to get a room for just the four of us. The food was fabulous, but left me with a bothering dry throat that lasted till next day. I presummed that the MSG was too much, whereby HK suggested otherwise. Anyway, it was a cosy way to spent a night with, esp if the clique was good. (And yes, I have officially joined back the LoOoSER Club.) The route to Arab street might seems long, but with them, I stated otherwise.

Sat was a tour guide sort of thingy. CC's taiwan friends visited Singapore, and invited us to go to Sentosa with them. HK , KG, Eve, and I, as well as CC's campmate, WeiJie had a great fun with the two taiwanese babes, though it was a rather cloudy day, and even CC's wallet was lost (some kind soul sent it to his house thou, but the money was gone)!!! Anyway, the photowhoring session was fun, and the durian feast was a great laughing out loud session. Durian was described as spring onion, heard of it before??? They are fun loving people to hang out with la. Do visit HongKiat's or Eve's blogs for the pics once they uploaded. There are more then 200 pics!!!

Sunday was a day spent playing chess with Uncle Zhou, before meeting Jun on Monday to go to Yueh Hai Ching Temple whereby Lord Yue Lao is located at. The temple is one of the oldest temples in Singapore, which was built back in the 1820s by mainly sailors and traders from China to seek the god's help for safety on the rough seas. Today, it is a meeting place for the Teochew community (I'm a teochew!!!), as well as historical site for the tourists. Shopping and movie followed thereafter, as well as a burnt in the pocket. Anyway is a monday not that blue, and we only spent six dollars for a movie tix... =) Side note, Pirates oF e Carribean is disappointing, but Johnny Depp is still so charismatic. I will wait for part three... *giggles*

ShawnTay - I slept through the whole of Tues - 1100pm to 0545pm (18 hours and 45 mins).

2006-07-25T22:27:00.000+08:00

The pork that goes well with rice.

2006-07-25T22:26:00.000+08:00

The steamboat with meat, meat and meat.

2006-07-25T22:24:00.000+08:00

Photowhoring

2006-07-25T22:23:00.000+08:00

The group shot!

I'm a Gentleman

2006-07-23T18:56:00.000+08:00

The Gentleman
Deliberate Gentle Love Master
(DGLMm)

Steady & mature. You are The Gentleman.

For anyone looking for an even-keeled, considerate lover, you're their man. You're sophisticated. You know what you want both in a relationship and outside of it. You have a substantial romantic side, and you're experienced enough sexually to handle yourself in that arena, too. Your future relationships will be long-lasting; you're classic "marrying material," a prize in the eyes of many.

It's possible that behind it all, you're a bit of a male slut. Your best friends know that in relationships you're fundamentally sex-driven. You're a safe, reliable guy, who does get laid. In a lot of ways, you're like a well-worn, comfortable pair of socks. Did you ever jack off into one of those? All the time.

Your ideal mate is NOT a nut-job. She is giving and loving, like you, but also experienced. Avoid the The Battleaxe at all fucking costs. CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor, someone just like you.

Take your test here.

Side Effect after 26 hours of Sleep = 闲着没事做

2006-07-20T06:17:00.000+08:00

Can you name 13 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Anyone you're thinking of, in no order. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 13 people. Absolutely NO cheating and switching positions on the list, either! READY, START!

1. MeiHua
2. Junyu
3. GuoLiang
4. WeiHao
5. Darren
6. KokGuan
7. Kris
8. BaoLian
9. Audrey
10. Eugene
11. Mike
12. Adam
13. Vincent

THE QUESTIONS:

1. How did you meet 2? Junyu
Well, through a pretty regimental CCA - NPCC. And same class in Sec 3 and 4.

2. What would you do if you NEVER met 6? KokGuan
I probably won’t be so humsup (lecherous). *grins*

3. What would you do if 2 and 9 dated? Junyu and Audrey
Oh please, Audrey the queen! Spare my buddy…

4. Did you ever like 8? BaoLian
Ermmm, this is tricky. I should have changed the name list. But I gamed for this... Yes, but it never worked out and I’m looking forward. =)

5. Would 1 and 5 be a good couple? MeiHua and Darren
Haha, they definitely will! Too bad Hua is not long haired nor has the figure of Jessica Alba... And to her, Darren is never considered a smart guy towards love… What a waste!

6. Is number 11 gay/lesbian? Mike
Haha, if the number increase by one, I would probably say yes... Adam is damn gorgeous can! Mike is cute thou, with a stable job, good income, has the height, and piles of money in his bank. Any gal wanna know him?

7. Would you tell secrets to 5? Darren
Of course! He’s a bro to me! But probably, is more of him to me.

9. Do you know any of 1's family members? MeiHua
Her father sells BBQ foods at Alexandra and her mum loves me. His brother is my cousin’s son’s sec friend, and enlists to army this Oct. What do u think? !

10. What's 10's favorite color? Eugene
The color of the bras the lady he loves. He got this irresistible temptation towards gals with black bras. I told him baby blue is sweet thou… =P

11. What would you do if 9 confessed he/she liked you? Audrey
Nah! Elva Hsiao looked alike would never say that to me! Haha. NEVER!

12. What language does 3 speak? GuoLiang
English and mandarin. I suppose his German sucks. We learnt Basic Converstional German together.

13. Who is 9 going out with? Audrey
Junfeng, her horny vampire…

14. What grade is 12 in? Adam
'A' Level. SMU undergraduate to be next year…

15.when did you last see 7? Kris
Few hundred years ago as discussed with Hua yesterday!!!

16. What is 5's favorite band? Darren
S.H.E?

17. Would you ever date 3? GuoLiang
He’s a gay, but not hot enough for me… Does la kopi counts?

18. Is 1 hot? MeiHua
Yeah! she's a hottie!

19. Is 12 single? Adam
Single. Any girls wanna hook him up? Best-looking guy on my list, but he’s only 20.

20. Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 1? MeiHua
We had been having a serious friendship that kept us ongoing for 5 years! BGR?! Nah, never…. Probably I would say is incest if it happens…

21. Where does 8 go to school? BaoLian
Currently in NTU.

22. What's 4's best physical feature? WeiHao
His puppy eyes and chubby cheeks are charming.

23. Are number 7 & 8 best friends? Kris and BaoLian
Never. Remembering those outings, I think they probably can’t click.

4. Is 8 a girl or boy? BaoLian
A girl. Sweet one.

25. Who is 5 in love with? Darren
Opps, must I say…?!
Please, I can’t…
I really can’t..........
Don't force me!!!
MeiHua’s close friend, if that was the last.

26. What is your last memory of 7? Kris
I chauffeured him back with his 25kg worth of soft drinks and tidbits. And nope, he’s not my girlfriend.

27. Have you ever hooked up with 4? WeiHao
Haha, I used to tell the burgies. If I am a girl, I will fall for him among us 4.

28. What is the funniest memory of 8? BaoLian
YEP dazes. The 45 mins “to and fore” walk from girl’s bunk to boy’s bunk with her and Hua, just to carry some utensils and pandan leaves. And the water war game against Hua on Darren and Alo on Poh Soo at the beach... We won!

29. What is your relationship with 6? KokGuan
A good friend. Poly year 1 first and best clique. I call him brother now.

30. How old is 13? Vincent
22 years old boy from St Patrick.

31. How close are you with 1? MeiHua
A girl who knows me inside out.

32. Would you sleep with 12? Adam
Did I ever mention he has a nice body?
Nah! He’s too hot!

33. What is your favorite memory with 3? GuoLiang
Too many to mention… Counting from Pri 5 till now…
Probably the days in National Cancer Center?!

34.Who's 11 best friends with? Mike
I seriously don’t know.
Those in camp are probably Bernard, Adam, Jesmond, and me…

35. What's your favorite thing about 2? Junyu
Someone who I can vent my anger on.
And we shared many dark secrets along Chinatown…

ShawnTay - Done! If friday QET is as simple... *cheeky smile*

Ready? On your mark... Get set....

2006-07-18T02:17:00.000+08:00

Today marks the start of a short holiday before stepping into a new phase of life. That dreadful life sciences undergraduate course commences at NUS in 3 weeks time for 4 fucking long years!!! I was telling MeiHua that I was having this withdrawn sypmtoms that god knows why. And I decided to forgo the exemption tests on Organic Chem, BioChem, and Genetics. Only geeks / saints can survive through the tests, the As I scored in poly are probably just flops. Two years in army has brainwashed my brain, and replaced those biological terms with 'fuck', 'cb', 'suck cock', "kanna arrowed". And my fav line goes to 'lan jiaoooooo'. Yeps, dragged the 'ao' behind, and accompany it with 'cb laaaaaa', it sounds way better then deoxyribonucleic acid(?!?!) .

Anyways, I contradicted myself at times with the mini NP gatherings and army mate gatherings that could be held at NTU regularly if I chose the latter... None of my close friends study in NUS, but are at NTU instead... And since I chose my path, just be it. The thoughts of having lunch with the poly cliques, tea sessions with the burgies, and talk cock sing songs with Vincent, Ben and guys are really tempting thou.

And, the Aussie Dream... *sigh* Going to parties with Eugene at Canberra and drink till we get high, smoke grass till we reach paradise, and have some karma sessions with the bitches out there sounds real cool... Going fising on the weekends and catch yabbies at the coast with Roderick at South Australia sounds relax and fun... Getting a part time job and work till we die in Melbourne with HongKiat isn't a bad choice either. But. My Aussie Dream is drifting away. I doubt my family "financial status" can be returned to the norm in three weeks time.

So, tata, since fate has already decided for me... A 22 years old haggard old man will use all his mights and powers to compete with his fellow coursemates - the didi and meimei and fight for a place to do honours in 3 years time.

Bachelor of Science (Life Sciences) with honours, Major in Cell and Molecular Biology, Minor in Business. A certicate that I would wish to hold in 4 years time... We shall see... =)

ShawnTay - And now, that Qualifying Engish Test on fri... -_-" *shrugs*

Never Right

2006-07-16T16:30:00.000+08:00

I was wrong;
My phone bill was slightly high.
Only superstars made so many calls,
I'm acting like one.

I was wrong;
I went out late at night.
Only beyond controlled kids went out late,
And I took drugs in the back alley.

I was wrong;
I was sleeping in the afternoon.
Only time wasters sleep in the afternoon.
Good kids go fuck around.

I was wrong;
I wanted to stay in uni hall.
Only kids with family problems stay in hall,
I stay at home.

I was wrong;
I wanted to go for a holiday.
Only ppl who got a job goes for holiday,
My savings in bank are for medical bills if any.

I was wrong;
I went clubbed.
Only bastards go clubbing,
I'm a geek. Science geek.

ShawnTay - I'm never right.

Smiles

2006-07-15T18:21:00.000+08:00

Have a great smile today. =)

Aussie Bum

2006-07-12T21:40:00.000+08:00

I missed that big guy!

Received a sms from Eugene who reached Canberra.

For the next two and a half years,

Kangeroo, Koala bears, beach babes will be accompanying him.

Oh man, I'm jealous.

ShawnTay - That rich kid!

Rhythm of Life

2006-07-12T15:34:00.000+08:00

Finally.

I feel the rhythm of my life;

Controlled by my own beats.

ShawnTay - Life within control

An Ideal Date

2006-07-11T03:23:00.000+08:00

I feel like falling in love these few days, after seeing Bernard so in love with his NiuNiu, Sean and his marriage proposal to Winnie, JingFen surprised me about her love with my old sec sch friend - Jianxiong, and Edwin, after adding him in friendster, discovered he was sweetly in love with my another sec school friend - SiHui. How could life be so sweet that soon it would be diabetics... I'm not sour graping away, but just thought they are painfully too sweet. =)

Just came back from a rather inspirational chat session with Eugene. A tiramisu, a green tea cheesecake, two big guys and their cuppas, is a gayish idea to be heard and found in the middle of an italian style cafe, surrounded by couples. Rest assured we are straight men, Eugene got a fiancee, and I'm only into girls, best with big boobs and tits... Bear in mind, I have girls killing cockroach fetisH!

Maybe that's the side effect - for writing unusually, from getting approached by a gay from nowhere, but in the midst of drinking my coffee black. Perhaps I should revise my actions in public, or dress style, or wateva. I just felt that the gay has no sense at all, to approach someone like me, who he named as someone cute (*vomit*) instead of any muscular hunks on the street. *Shrugs*

Sorry, I sidetracked. Anyway the chat went on about the ideal date, whereby Eugene had descibed, and he has had his with his fiancee. A romantic dinner in a posh restaurant, a drive to beach, a soul-to-soul talk, and then sex in a grand hotel room. How lame could that be. At least, I thought that the soul-to-soul talk was a good one. =) And so, I slowly narrates to him, my ideal date will be:

A getaway to somewhere afar,
With just the two of us.
Followed by a drive through along the countryside;
In a rented classic pink beatle.
Singing "You are beautiful" by James Blunt;
As wild flowers filled along the roadside.
Together we reached an italian cafe for lunch,
Cuppas, overbaked pastas, and tiramisu filled our stomach,
And red wine to accompany it all.
Then off we go to the Amusement Park,
Where we have funs with the roller coaster and Pirates' Boat,
A way to reminisce our childhood memories I supposed.
We proceed on to the mountain top
Whereby we share the inner parts of our hearts,
A secret between you, me and the mountain top.
We ended the day in a romantic restaurant,
Whereby she wore a simple white princess dress,
As I followed her with a simple black suit.
Another heart to heart session about everything under the sky,
And the future we strongly agreed to fulfill together.

That's my ideal date.

Dreamy yeah?! I was fucked by Eugene for being so naive and crazy, as I narrated by ideal date since 13 to him. *Laughs* Well, I make sure is gonna happens when the real one comes. Hmmmm, maybe not so exaggerated, but something close to it will do. =)

He said I hua chi.
I agreed but bited back.
He wasn't any better in front of his fiancee.

We are fated to be killed in the hands of our love.

ShawnTay - I haven't found the one yet. Some girl out there, kill me please!

People Changes

2006-07-10T16:28:00.000+08:00

Weather changes, environment changes, people changes too. Some homo sapiens change for good as they aged. This kind of people tends to gain confidence at the click of the time clock, and become happier over time. But do they really appreciate their lives when they have lost their basic human attributes? There are some others, whereby mishaps happened to them over the years. Hence, they become demoralized, and lost the ability to love and their lives are full of hates. Will they be able to walk out the window? It would have to depend on individuals. Those who happen to walk out would step into a new stage of life. Those who never, would have stay in their misery and grieve over their pasts forever. There are some others who I detest the most. Their lives are pretty good, and yet they choose to grumble and nitpick about their own lives, but never find ways to resolve the problems. If all people in the world change for the good, maybe life would have been much uninteresting…

ShawnTay - I lead a simple life.

Superman Returns

2006-07-08T23:23:00.000+08:00

Watched a flick, Superman Returns on fri with the Burgies. Brandon Routh (Clark Kent, superman!) was indeed well built, and forever that heroic look as expected. This 154 mintues flick sure has its boring scenes, or perhaps I was too tired that I closed my eyes a couple of times. Anyway, the guy that touched me in the show wasn't superman himself, but Richard White, Lois Lane's husband , played by James Marsden. Though he knew that Lois Lane still loves Clark Kent, and Jason was Superman's son, he still loves them wholeheartedly, and managed to save them, with the helo of Superman when they are trapped in a sea, using his human's atrributes and abilities. Overall, the show is too much of a love story then action packed, but still, since its superman, is a must watch film!!!

Went for pratas and teh tariks at River Valley after the show, and walked from Great World to Holland Village for digestion before calling it a day. See, this is how bored it can be when three single men are together. Haha, anyway its a good fri nite well spent.

ShawnTay - LOOK, its a bird! NO, its a plane! NO, ITS SUPERMAN!!!

CHOICES

2006-07-05T01:53:00.000+08:00

As I read through what Hk and Kg wrote in their blogs, I felt a tingle in my heart. Life is so much about making choices. Yet, choices are made due to so many influencing factors. There has been a saying, "Do things accordingly to our heart..." If everyone really follow their hearts as they make choices, perhaps life would have be much simple. And I, choose to make choices to be accepted by the society and to gain recognition from family, ending myself up in this safe but uninteresting state.

ShawnTay - Life is not just about following your dreams...

PiSSeD oFF!!

2006-07-03T12:11:00.000+08:00

Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!

I'm pissed off... Wonder why such peeps are still hired???

Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!! Pissed off!!!

ShawnTay - I'm not officially a student yet!?!

2006-07-02T22:49:00.000+08:00

Irene's and Paul's BDae Celebration at Loof, dated 260606

2006-07-02T22:48:00.001+08:00

HonG KiaT and I

2006-07-02T22:48:00.000+08:00

MeiHua and Irene

One Sided Love

2006-07-01T19:04:00.000+08:00

July arrived. Two years passed.
Army's ending. School's starting.
The same but rusty one-sided love;
Should have come to a stop.

Stopping, as easy as said;
Is never a simple task.
The same but difficult one-sided love;
Should have come to an end.

She missed him, I missed her;
Is always a cycle.
The same but tired one-sided love;
Should have a conclusion.

A month more to school starts;
New exposure, new life.
The same but old one-sided love;
Will come to its end.

ShawnTay - Ended

The Game of Clubbing

2006-07-01T15:13:00.000+08:00

Yeah, Germany won!!! Though I felt that Argentina was way better yesterday... Nonetheless, it was still a great match. Club Momo is really trying all means to grab her customers, by having all the free entries and promotions. I guessed MOS, Zouk and theButterFactory have really a great impact on her.

Jun and I didn't went theButterFactory yesterday cause we were underaged!!! The age limit was 23. So after ditching Hua and group (Jun insisted not to try smuggling in), the two of us went Momo to grab some cheap drinks and watch the match.

After the match, we entered the dancefloor cause the music was real good, and Jun really need to dance to stay sober (oops!). 2 cups of Vodka Orange and a cup of Vodka Ribena really has the minimum effect on me that I danced like a robot... I was never a dancer ok?!

Perhaps staying single for too long, or slowly entering adulthood, I have my attempts on the "Game of Clubbing" yesterday while I 'm still sober with a bareback girl, the ba ba ah lian with good dress sense and the dance dance revolution black top woman. *Laughs* But I was too much of a cowardice to do anything much. Jun was much a better gamer, he can actually differentiate which girls can be gamed with, which ones can't. Nonetheless, it was yet another two person clubbing session I enjoyed. And I saw Jasmine with some Angmohs. *cheeky smile* Anyway the "Game of Clubbing" will stopped once the lights are on, whereby everyone came back to life and faced reality, whereby everything went back to norm and things remains the same, so that's no point either... =)

We walked to MOS entrance to "smell" the presence of Hua, Ting and Jamie thereafter, before having a 20 mins draggy and tiring walk from Roberson Quay to River Valley Road at Great World for some pratas and teh tariks. I have some abrasions in the process. And the most classic part was I spilled a cup of teh tarik onto a malay guy's botak head and his gf's body, concentrated on her top, at the breasts area. She was wearing white -_-" . Jun had a great laugh while I was damn embrassed la! We had a great laugh in the cabbie, whereby I got a feeling that the taxi driver thought we were some manic-disordered patients... I ended the day at 5am, sleeping soundly on my comfy bed and Miss BoBo (my bolster)...

ShawnTay - I'm happy these days. I hope it will last.

Off in Due

2006-06-30T18:12:00.000+08:00

Offs on Thursday and Friday; every Thurs and Fri to be actual, till 24th July, whereby I start to clear all days of the week. Though so, my disruption is currently under pending, coz as said, I wasn't allowed to change course when my disruption has already been approved. -_-" I dun think see the point since it's just a change of location while the duration, course commences, area of studies are exactly the same. Phew, and I need a week to get a reply from MINDEF, before I can answer back to NUS before the deadline in July. To add on, I have yet to register, get my matriculation number, go for medical examination and sit for any exemption tests - and I know nuts about BIO now. I feel liked dying in a way, a busy July foreseen.

Did nothing much these two days. Managed to grab the latest episode of 東方茱麗葉, sadly just episode four, twelve more to go. Ahhhh, simply in love with 林依晨 in the show. Her image in the show is way better then that in 恶作剧之吻. But still as cute... Hee. The male lead was not bad looking too.

Atlas, after procastinating that I wanna go clubbing for WEEKS, will go tonight since Jun is back, and Hua has a new club to recommend. Tata.

ShawnTay - Pray hard that Germany win tonight... =)

Ending SooN!

2006-06-21T01:53:00.000+08:00

As I took an urgent leave to settle some uni stuffs yesterday, I know that my army life is coming to an end soon. On 7th August 2006, I will be surrendering my green IC, and changed it with the pink one, which have been held by MINDEF for two long years. My status will also be changed from a National Slave to a uni student, the one who enters the lecture 15 mins after it commenced, instead of the one who unhappily enters the camp gate on the dot everyday for first parade. Hence, I will also be worrying about projects, tests, examinations, instead of worrying about signing any extras. *Laughs*

I would describe my army life as a cup of cocktail. A depressant, that makes one sick at times, but relax on the other hand. Sorrow, hatred, fcuk, whatever "curse and swear" word one can think of, Singapore guys would have used them to descibe their army life before. Yeah, two years of rules and regulation isn't an easy period to endure and follow, however with the laughters and happiness I gained with my campmates, I'm proud to say that all sorrows and hardships have been neutralized.

The happiest moments I had in army would be the BMT period and the on course training months. Whereby good soulmates are meet, lifelong friends to be kept. Eugene, Vincent, Kok Leong, Zen, Paul, just to name a few, have spiced up my dull green life with other colours.

As I viewed through the photos I took over the two years, I felt really relieved that its ending real soon... But yet, a little worried that the life journey after army would be even more difficult to walk. To put it simple, growing up isn't easy nor that great... Its about decision making, career planning, something that still makes my head twice its size whenever I think about it...

ShawnTay - Life Sciences Product Specialist cum cafe owner?! Let's hope so...

2006-06-21T01:46:00.000+08:00

Those Self pics I took over the army years... Narcissim runs in my blood!!!

2006-06-21T01:44:00.000+08:00

Those "Got Cai!" Guys I will never forget...

2006-06-21T01:43:00.000+08:00

The Bali Trip with Kris, HK and Irene right after BMT...

2006-06-21T01:42:00.000+08:00

Dual Photos.

2006-06-21T01:41:00.000+08:00

Almost ten years of friendship, The Burgies...

2006-06-21T01:40:00.000+08:00

Festive Seasons, BDae Celebrations, Farewell Gatherings attended during the army years...

2006-06-21T01:39:00.000+08:00

The Outings, ChitChat Sessions, Activities over the army years...

Blue, BlueD, Blown!!!

2006-06-19T18:06:00.000+08:00

Had a tiff with Dad.
He said I was shouting at him;
Which obviously I didn't.
I'm just a loud hailer.
I said I go to camp myself by bus;
He told me not to sit in his car anymore.
FINE. I won't.

.........
At least, not for today.

ShawnTay - Humpph

Great Catch for the Day!

2006-06-18T04:02:00.000+08:00

Had Father's Day Dinner at Hung Kang Teochew Resaurant.

The goose meat and yam paste were fanstatic.

While Hua, Ting and boyfriend went prawning;

I went fishing with sis and bro-in-law.

Just 3 minutes as I held the rod,

I got myself a 18 inches Golden Mackeral.

The lucky catch was the Taiwan breed Golden Mackeral;

A last minute catch before we called it a day.

Sis and bro-in-law got themself a Golden Mackeral and a Grouper too.

ShawnTay - I guess my luck is back.

Hell Fun!

2006-06-17T14:29:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night was hell fun.
5 peeps, 1 car;
HongKong Cafe for supper,
East Coast Park Carpark G to catch monkey business;
Katong Park for a pee.
I smiled heartily from my heart.

ShawnTay - My mood shall not be affected for the cancellation of dinner on Sunday. =)

A Different Friday

2006-06-16T16:45:00.000+08:00

It was the first time I drove to camp. The boots give some problems, for at least I still home in one piece. *Laughs* Had lunch with Hua and KG at NTU, before going to NUS to submit my admission to NUS LIFE SCIENCES. Yep, I beg to be differ, I chose NUS despite hearing its poly unfriendly style of working system. On the way there, while DRIVING, a BIRD SHIT landed on my windscreen. I was laughing non stop while Hua, who was accompanying me, VOMMITTED! *LoL* Decided to buy toto after submission, only to see a TOO LONG QUEQUE. So got no choice but to sought mum for help. Bern called from camp while we're on the way back, telling me that my disruption has been accepted by MINDEF. So now, I'm anxiously waiting to get an official reply from NUS, so that I update MINDEF with my new choice.

ShawnTay - Car has been washed... =(

Another Off Day

2006-06-13T15:49:00.000+08:00

Yet, another off day. Did nothing much, just watched 天外飞仙 all the way. The show is touching, and that 林依晨 is still damn cute la!!! Haha..

Weekend spent was simple, yet fun. Went for a HongKong's style breakfast with Sis and Bro-in-Law on Sat morning, whereby Sis used my line to get a new phone thereafter. I predicted I won't have the money to grab a new one any time sooner, might as well let her use my contract lo... Met Hao and GL for a shopping spree in the afternoon. As usual, money becomes the issue, and all I can do is seeing those two guys grabbing nice tops from Zara and TopShop, and I standing outside the changing room giving comments. We had a nice Japanese Dinner thereafter, and headed for a flick, The Nun at Marina Square. Anyway I bought a new game, Sudoku from Times Bookshop, and cracked my brain since then...

Sunday was mainly spent on the new game, and the new show. Oh yah, Jun called from Canada, missed him a little... If he isn't in Canada now, I probably won't be at home today lo... LoL, I guessed we are the only two guys in this world who can talk on the phone for hours, every other night...

ShawnTay - Back to showtime!

Special Someone

2006-06-09T23:42:00.000+08:00

We met up thrice, including the one yesterday.
A special meet, once every few months, in her hotel room.
We talked about eveything under the sky;

And the relationship remains pure.
We made a pact that we are special friends forever,
And we really did nothing more then a nice chat of minds and souls.

............... ShawnTay - A groovy kind of love ...............

Saturday At A Rural Area!

2006-06-04T00:16:00.000+08:00

Finally, a happy entry...

Enjoyed my weekend. Dragged my dad to take me to Poison Ivy located at an agrotechnology farm near my camp for lunch. Well, the food wasn't fabulous but they were organic, low salt, no msg... But the desserts were awesome!!! Visited the farm thereafter, and happended to bump onto Dad's friend who is working at the farm as a farmer. Afterall, he's dad childhood friend, at this place, fifty years back... Yup, Dad was a Lim Chu Kang boy!!! Haha... Went to wheatgrass farm thereafter, whereby Dad, sis and bro bought wheatgrass drinks while I chose to differ. I bought the catus one which is disgusting!!! I used two hours to finish that 300mL. Visited another high tech farm thereafter and then the vegatable market. It was really an eye opening....

ShawnTay - Sometimes I wonder, does rural life suits me more?!

2006-06-04T00:08:00.000+08:00

The Tay's family, left Mum and Bro-in-Law...

2006-06-04T00:07:00.000+08:00

Lunch at Poison Ivy, the desserts are fabulous...

2006-06-04T00:04:00.000+08:00

Organic Fruits at the farm.

2006-06-04T00:03:00.000+08:00

Dad's and Sis's Shots!!!

2006-06-03T23:58:00.000+08:00

Nice Flowers at Poison Ivy...

2006-06-03T23:57:00.000+08:00

At the Organic Wheatgrass Farm whereby I bought a very disgusting catus drink...

2006-06-03T23:56:00.000+08:00

Somewhere in a very neat and organised farm.

2006-06-03T23:51:00.000+08:00

Our Last Stop.

I am just not happy!

2006-06-02T23:50:00.000+08:00

I have no intentions of making this blog a sadist's blog with tonnes and tonnes of rants and angers. But it seems like I'm just simply not too happy. I am bothered with friends, work, stress - everything.

I don't blamed the buddies for not seeing the difference in me nor sensing my problem and talk to me. They are never the sensitive sorts. But wanting them just for a accompany for a friday night seems more difficult then scoring 100 for a paper. I felt more like their toy at times, instead of a real brother to anyone of them.

Now I wondered, why always I must be the initiative one, the give-in one, the for-their-sakes one when I am just a normal homosapien with my own anger. I chose to take a cab down to Jurong Point for a dinner with them even though I'm damn tired, only to see them late, one by one. I chose be the one paying the cashier using all the small coins they gave, not because I'm faceless, just becoz since they mind, I might as well do it. I chose to give them the opportunities to give in their ideas, as I thought that I always wanted my way, only to discover we are walking round and round the bustling and busy Orchard road for two hours just for a dinner.

To add on, I got a feeling that some of the guys in my workplace don't like me, but I chose to think otherwise. Or perhaps, I'm really too sensitive these days, and started to imagine. Nowadays, I kept hearing ppl badmouthing behind me in the office, in my presence. I don't know why I got such thoughts, but I just get to be a little bit over-imaginative when I sit in the office, somewhere, alone.

I felt so unwanted that I decided to widen social cirle only to discover I'm just a bastard, an actor, a swindle, a bitch, wateva u put it. I'm just not happy.

ShawnTay - Am I dying? Suffering from manic depression?

Lost To MySelf

2006-05-31T22:11:00.000+08:00

I lost the battle, the battle to be a norm. The battle only indicated how emotional unbalanced I am right now, in this current situation. People who knows me inside out, would know that no matter how bad my temper is, at home, or towards close friends, I would never bring out that same spoilt brat attitude out to the workplace. And I mean NEVER. But never failed me.

I lost my temper couple of times, or should I said countless of times in camp these days. I don't blame ppl for venting my anger, but I'm frustrated with the way I'm dealing with the situations. I self-praised that my own character might not be a good one, but at least I know I'm one responsible dumDass that will accomplish the things I need to at the end of the day. K, put in simple, I scared kanna FCUKed!

But I was doubted. I was doubted for doing wrongs for some confidential stuffs, stuffs that had already been double confirmed by the higher authority. I was questioned, questioned with questions with no answers, questioned with questions like, "Could the higher authority do wrongly?", or "could you and the higher authority make mistakes?" I was thinking bout what are the model answers that I can come out with when I was bombared. "Yes, the higher authority make mistakes." and "Yes, I have some consipacy with the higher authority after they treat me a cuppa at Fullerton Hotel." Crazy! I was so frustrated that I thought its a hassle to talk back. I replied, "Well, you can doubt me in terms of characters, but please don't doubt me in terms of work."

I'm not mad with him, cause I know his characters. He just wanna get things right. He just wanna doubled, tripled confirmed with the stuffs. But I just don't like to be doubted. To be questioned by him when I'm 99.9% sure I'm right. To be nagged by him about things that I don't think is within my power of limits / my job scope.

And to put in simple, this kind of thing won't happened if it was the real me. I would be happily clearing his doubts. I would patiently answering all his queries. Perhaps, I would even do things that are not within my job scope. Afterall, I used to be a BusyBody... Afterall, I used to score 'A's in industrial attachments and projects....

ShawnTay - Blued

Fighting Against Myself

2006-05-25T22:51:00.000+08:00

......................................................................................................

Ever I climbed over the mountain top,
A paradise I would see.
With clouds flowing around;
In the quiteness of the surroundings.

Ever I dived and reached the pit of the ocean,
A dark hole I would see.
With endangered water creatures discovered;
In the darkness of the bottomless pit.

Ever I met an obstacle in the journey of life,
A new challenge I would see.
With determination I fight to conquer;
In a new stage of life with something achieved.

......................................................................................................

My EQ dropped these days. I lost my temper once to Junyu and another few times in camp. It's so unlike me to bring emotional problems to work, especially throwing tantrums to Mike, Bernard, Adam and guys. I'm so unbalanced these days that I don't even know who am I, and how to dealt with myself. I know I'm facing an obstacle in life. I had faced it before, solved it, but it all came back to me like a cycle. But right now, I can't even figured out what is the obstacle. I just hope I can figure it out real soon and back to my normal self. I need to be alone again for a duration. Might be a day, a week, or even more. I don't know. But I'm fighting it.

.............................. ShawnTay - The Fighter ..............................

Little Weekend Update

2006-05-21T22:59:00.000+08:00

FRIDAY : Went off to Alexandra for barbequed seafood with the burgies, and then shared a cab down to JurongPoint for The DaVinci Code. Well, storybook is still better then the movie, but I guess the flick provides a good explanation for some "chiminological' theories Dan Brown wrote. Those who never read the book should forgo the movie, trust me, you would rather spent that three hours on bed instead of siting in the theatre... Tom Hanks is still as charimastic thou.

SATURDAY : Went for my dentist appointment, after the last one at 12 years old... *laughs* Bleed, scolded, refilled a tooth, I survived the ordeal without a pain relief jab (costs $40 bucks more) as suggested... Went for a heart to heart session talk with Hua at night (after being cheated by Darren, Audrey and guys =P)... Great to see her get out of The Loser's Club... I was asked about her, and I gave a false answer... *laughs laughs laughs* Out of The Loser's Club?! Nah! I'm still the president... Big Brother Lim is my vice president... Haha...

SUNDAY: Went for a coffee with the burgies except that lazy tall one who's still sleeping... Relax, with cheesecakes, pizzas, gelatos, tiramisu that blended well with a simple coffee...

PS: To the girl if you read my blog... Just wanna tell you to be brave in getting your 直树! Gambatte! But if you are hurt, rejected, sad, my shoulder is still here for you to lean on... I really don't mind being that 阿金 till you find that special someone of yours... That message I sent you that two years ago, about respecting your decision, but I will wait is still there... I'm still waiting aimlessly... but still, 祝妳辛福哦！

ShawnTay - Contradicting, yeah???

THaT CockRoacH!

2006-05-16T21:33:00.000+08:00

God damn it... When I was about to sit down on that toilet bowl on mine, I saw a cockroach using his antenna saying hello to me on the nearby basin... I dashed out of the toilet immediately with pants on my legs. And now, the toilet is locked till mum come back to kill that parasite... Haha, sounds sissy? Yup, sissy is my middle name. Call me Shawn Sissy Tay... *laughs* Anyway gals who can kill cockroach really turn me on! Haha.. Weird fetish... So my wife-to-be MUST know how to kill cockroach!!!

Just got the reply from NUS. I got into her Business Adminstration course, but I guessed I'm giving it a miss. After talking to the burgies except that tall one who having his uni trial camp, I was quite conclusive to study Science. Yup, determined. What happen if I can into Life Science, NUS? God damn, flickle minded!!!

Shawn Sissy Tay - And, what happen if the cockroah crawled out!?! GAY!

BaDDie

2006-05-16T14:59:00.000+08:00

I am a bastard. Though I'm still on MC, be it due to some workload I didn't do, or the promise I set with my friends there, I decided to stay at home for good instead of heading back to camp as promised. So turned out, Mike and Bernard got to do my work, and I emptied my promise. I still couldn't find the answer I want, despite long hours of sleep. I still can't be happy, even thou I got to when I go back to camp tomorrow. I lost my temper a couple of times there, and it seems like Mike, Bernard, Adam and guys are good enough to dissolve them. They are never the key factors for my lost of temper. It's just me, my own rage of fire, my own feelings towards myself. Perhaps a long rest is good, as I yet to find the answer to answer myself.

ShawnTay - There are still nice ppl around like Mike and Bern, but not me.

SELF-ABUSER

2006-05-15T23:57:00.000+08:00

Why do I need to restrict myself? Why should I act like a gentleman when I know I'm not? I want to abuse myself, make life to the worst, grab some grass to smoke or some ice for self abusing, fuck up my life, get a bar's job, and be happy and drunk everyday. I have so many restrictions. That are so many things I can't do. I read her blog. She said she don't love herself anymore. She can only feel pain when she choose to love herself. How bout me? I don't even have the power to love myself. Ppl love me, and so I have to live for them. I lived for everyone except myself.

I want to be a piece of shit.

ShawnTay - I'm an asshole la.

I LOVE MAMA, and Gays' Blogs

2006-05-14T18:40:00.000+08:00

My weekend was well spent. Had a little dark secret that was supposed to be hide on thurs (only meihua knows it well), and went to pray at Waterloo Road on Vesak Day, followed by a shopping session at Bugis with my mum, sis and dad. I inherited Mum's and Sis's "I LOVE SHOPPING" habit, while Brother inehrited Dad's "I WAIT OUTSIDE THE SHOP" one. Haha... The gals in my family and I are all shopping freaks!!! Spending five hours in Parco Junction is a little too much, yeah? Imagine the number of bags we carried thereafter... Okay, I guess I sidetracked a little...

Mother's Day Celebration was done twice this year. On sat, we had family dinner at Jurong Hill Restaurant, after attending that seminar at Hyatt. Oh yah, and I saw my primary crush, who is my senior-to-be during the talk. A smart girl who entered River Valley High followed by National JC, and now, final year student at NTU. The talk was boring, but the high tea snacks were good. Went to see ppl fishing after dinner, and we were lucky to see third uncle, Shijie (cuzzie) and Judy (his's gf) fishing there. I guessed our family inherited my grandpa's fishing habits! He was an ex-fisherman...

Today all the daughter-in-laws of my grandma cooked the bestie out of their culinary skills, and we had a great feast with four generations together... It was great fun, and the result was a tired me.

Viewed some blogs today, I was too bored that I started to search for interesting blogs. And happened to come across some gay blogs while searching for "fashion babes" (I don't see the link thou). Anyway they were awesomely sweet. Haha, their writing are so girlish-ly gay that made my hair stood up a few times. However, part of me was really impressed by their truefulness, honesty and sweet XXX sessions... They dare to admit, despite being anti by the society... They dare to love as they dare to hate, not like some wishy washy straight guys who simply can't decide or forget about past loves. I adored them. *laughs* Kenzo and colin (http://colinandkero.blogspot.com/) is one interesting young couple who makes me laugh a mintue or so after reading their entries. I blessed them deep from my heart... =) Awww, they are so sweet.

Shawn Tay - I'm not turning gay la... =P

Mind in Peace

2006-05-10T22:22:00.000+08:00

A peaceful week, thou I have to go back to camp every other day prior to a two weeks MC. I slept most of the time, trying to find what are things I seek in life. After some hibernating moments, here are some thoughts:

1. Apply for PPCDL lesson package, july time slot.

2. Sign on the gym package downstairs, after I get May's pay, which is today.
3. Some retail therapy needed, always.
4. A short trip in june or july to wateva destinations with the burgies.

5. Be a voluneeter in an orphanage, pending still.

ShawnTay - I can see some fun sessions ahead.

I feel like a kid in hospital...

2006-05-06T14:33:00.000+08:00

Yup. I was admitted to hospital for a day, under the doctor's request. Ward 12, Bed 41, I called my mum to buy 4D, number: 1241, and informed a few closed friends about it the moment they pushed me into the room. Afterall, admitting to hospital isn't a shocking news to me, nor my parents. We have got used to it as I used to spent half of my Secondary Three's life, in and out of the hospital. That day, my parents weren't around, I was absolutely calm, and requested to have a shower before we get into any medical analysis. I'm bloody hot in that green SAF uniform!

The student nurse suggested to bathe me, but I declined the offer, in case of any unnecessary embrassment. So after that shower, I changed into that familiar blue robe for their routine medical check ups. The house doc was a female doctor, and thinking that bad injury could be linked to difficulties in bowel and urinary movements, she pulled down my pants, and poked a "penile sized" plastic looking stuff into my anus! Agrhhh, my virgin ass no more.. =( The worst thing is, she did it in front of the student nurse, who is two years younger then me. I feel like finding a hole and hide my face in it... Next, she got to examine the male counterparts of mine, which I voiced out that I preferred a male doctor....... When eveything done, the student nurse came back with a silly smile on her face, saying that my face was damn red! I was liked, "Hello, u stripped naked in front of me and see whether you will feel the same!" And she burst out laughing... -_-" And we started chatting out of topic... Bout phone numbers, boyfriends, girlfriends, studies and stuffs... *Laughs*

Anyway, after the X ray was done and medical treatments suggested, they send me back home for good the following day with a two weeks MC and tonnes of painkillers... Yeah!

ShawnTay - I promised myself never to bowl again...

Another Phase of Life

2006-05-01T21:24:00.000+08:00

Eugene leaving Singapore for ANU,
Darren disrupting Army for NTU.
All of us stepping into another pathway of lives,
Regardless of good or bad.

I hoped by getting that Science paper in four years time,
Will do some good for my future.
Biological products consultants, whatever;
I'm just not the cut for that research field.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to my uni life,
Pinned with little hopes;
And aimed to excel.
With me luck.

ShawnTay - Looking forward to that Taiwan trip, prime event for 2006... =)

Same Old Place, Same Old People

2006-04-26T00:07:00.000+08:00

Have you ever look at a old photograph, or think of visiting a country u have visted before, and start to think about the sweet memories you once have, only to discover that u have missed them all so much? And perhaps, you might want to fly to that same old place, to do the same old thing, with the same old people. For me, I will never want to go back to same old place, to do the same old thing, and meet up with the same old people... Not because I don't miss them, but just that I don't want the sweet old memories to be spoilt. Places you have not been visiting for ages, might change their looks over the years; people you were once closed, might lost that feeling of touch with you after years of no contacts. To put in simple, you might have set up a perfect picture you have in that place, doing that thing, with that people there. But yet, when you replayed all these again, in another year, on another date, you discovered that the place is no longer the same, the thing you do is no longer enjoyable, and the feelings you have with the people is no longer there. You will bound to be dissapointed. For me, I choose to save those memories in my thoughts, in my heart. I might missed them all so much, but I won't try to find them back again. The thing I missed is the feeling at that point, at that time, at that place... But not now, at this point, at this time, at this place... Or perhaps, I cared too much of my own feelings...

ShawnTay - A thought after msn-ing with Kris...

An Outing

2006-04-22T17:19:00.000+08:00

Yesterday's outing was fabulous.

Love the rain, that dripped into e pond,

Just like little bundles of new hopes.

Brother visited and passed me his old keys;

A car key indicating the start of adulthood.

Ah yes, he got his new car.

That session by the market was another classic,

With Chinese Palace theme,

And a new friend - Courtmaid Jamie made.

Lastly, they each got my signature on their hands,

For that game we played before dawn arrived.

I love my Friday night.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Dated back to Friday, 21/04/06, 1800 hours.

I lost my serenity today and my blood is full of insanity. I lust for the freedom in the outside world as no one cares. I’m not mad at anyone, or anything. Just pissed with the fact that why I landed up in this state now. Fine, I’m frustrated with myself.

I need sometimes, perhaps an hour or two, to balance up. To balance up the dreams I set for today, tomorrow, or perhaps the future. I don’t want to speak about the incidents in army; it might not be their faults. Perhaps, I’m just too annoyed with my own planning (duty clerk’s forecast) or that incident and ended myself up in this pathetic state. Staying around the evening to clear up the office, and have my half day eaten up. I should cried, but I didn’t, cause I even lost the momentum to drop my tears after that burst out at Carlton Hotel…

That day was a wretched plan. It was mum’s birthday celebration. I was bombarded. With listening, scolding, remarks, that I sheered my face, and shed my tears. It was a win – lose situation, with dad, mum, sis, bro, bro-in-law against me. Brother told me to shut up was the final straw, as if they are the planners of my future. I excused myself and cried heartily in the toilet. My face was reddened, my eyes were watery. I returned back to my seat, and gave them a nod. Yes, they raped me; I lost the virginity to control my future.

Desired of the sanity I used to have, I guess I would never have it back, anymore.

Staphylococcus, E.Coli, the bipolarity theory, the macromolecules’ components, and the new biophysics will all come into surface in months to come…

------------------------------------------------------------------

ShawnTay – With crystallized tears…

Uninterested Biologist

2006-04-15T23:43:00.000+08:00

Dear Mr Tay,

Congratulations! The University Admission Selection Committee has approved your application for admission to Nanyang Technological University (NTU) to study in the following course in academic year 2006-07:

BIOLOGICAL SCIENCES

...

Yours sincerely,
Associate Professor Loh Nee Lam
Deaan of Admissions

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Parents are delighted, sister is happy. Who give a damn about what I said? Yeah, and it seems to be my fault if I choose not to study it now...

ShawnTay - Wonder how now?

2006-04-14T22:47:00.000+08:00

NSF MENTALITY

Had a presentation to the Commanding Officer on Thurs Morning. I was defintely drowned in his pool of absurd ideas for that one hour and forty five minutes. He wanted me to present a Drugs and Criminal Offence kind of education talk to the batalion (approx. 500 ppl), in order to educate them and lessen the number of charged cases in the batalion. If he paid me a few thousands per month, or few hundreds per talk, perhaps I might do it... Or even giving a higher rank to do that might do some good, but defintely not with that three pieces of ikan billis on my arms. To add on, he threw me "The Yellow Ribbon" project, and wanted me to present it during the CO conference. Ppl who will be attending the conference are all captain rank and above... Obviously, I'm a national slave... -_-"

MINI OUTING

Mini outing that night with Kris, Hua, and Irene was relaxing thou. Yeah, we had touHua at Rochor, PI investigation at PlazaSing and Jur Mac, only to discover it's all nothing but our plain imagination(s). Even thou I get a little nag session from mum this morning for dirtying the car, the Sentosa Drive after the investigation was fun; except that if we can stay longer at the beach or climb that bridge, I think it will be better.

MY FAMILY

Sidetracked to last Sunday. Mum's BDae was celebrated at Carlton Hotel. The lunch was good, the environment was nice, just that it was a little too early for me to wake up on a lazy Sunday's mode. Lots of photo taken, some were uploaded. And I love my family like f**k. =)

Who's sister is willing to pay $100 for every kg of fat her brother drops?
My sister, with the intention of her brother's wellness.

Who's bro-in-law is willing to fetch his wife's bro for a cuppa late at night?
My bro-in-law, the mature young man who bought me burgers since Pri4.

Who's brother is willing to give his brother anything within his limits?
My brother, thou we still quarrelled at times.

Who's mum will drag her son for shopping while he is still asleep?
My mum, who asks me everything, from bags to shoes, even to my private life.

Who's dad is an officer in camp, but a driver at home?
My dad, who drives me anywhere, anytime, as requested.

And I love them all. =)

2006-04-14T22:33:00.000+08:00

Mum with her tulips by bro and I. (Note: The packaging is done by us!!!)

2006-04-14T22:32:00.000+08:00

Them. 33 years and still counting on...

2006-04-14T22:31:00.000+08:00

Them. Again...

2006-04-14T22:28:00.000+08:00

ThinKing of the food... And my bed.

2006-04-14T22:27:00.000+08:00

He simply looks like Dad...

2006-04-14T22:26:00.000+08:00

He loves feminine colours too... (purple, pink, etc...) Or is it my Mum? Haha

2006-04-14T22:24:00.000+08:00

Good tea for a sunday morning...

2006-04-14T22:23:00.001+08:00

Yumilicious Chicken cutlet.